love sick

part 5

chapter 5

Its been three months since my first date with Alex. Now we both lay sprawled on my bed making small chit chat. Its been an uneventful three months, just two people getting to know each other. It wasn't long after that first kiss we began dating. He spoiled me all the time, taking me everywhere he thought i would like to go. Even though i would've been satisfied with just been with him, i found out that we had a lot in common on each of those trips. we both loved cars and had a mad passion for guns. Right now he was showing me how he cleaned his and i showed him how i did mine. I still think my way is better. More thorough.

"hey babe?"

"hmm?"

"your birthday is coming up soon."

"yes i know. you don't have to worry about anything. Ian is throwing the party and it doesn't have to be a surprise coz everyone knows how much i love parties."

"yeah he told me about the party. that's not my main concern at the moment. i don't know what to get you. and instead of getting another opinion i thought i'd just ask. better safe than sorry right?"

"hmm i don't know. i have everything i need or want."

"exactly. and i have racked my brains but whatever you want you just go ahead get it yourself. there is nothing that you want that you don't already have. and its really making my life incredibly difficult Zee."

I laughed and leaned forward, planting a kiss on his lips.

"i can think of a few things i want and don't already have." Okay so we haven't passed that stage yet, even after three months. But we've both been so busy, there hasn't been time to even breath. And i didn't want it to be just something we did and got it over with. I was old school. I wanted all the special lovey dovey stuff. I wanted romance and all the other thingies other people might think is soo silly. But i couldn't help it. Alex was different and far too important to me. But i also didn't want him to wait too long even though he looked like he was prepared to wait his whole life.

There was like an internal debate constantly going on in my head. It would look like it was okay but which guy didn't want that? And what if i gave him my all and he decided he didn't want the relationship to carry on. But if i made him wait too long he might leave anyway. My head felt like a tornado hit and Ian was no help at all. his best advice was that i had to decide for myself. Great!

I pushed Alex back down on the bed and got on top of him. I slid my hands under his t-shirt to massage his six pack and bent down to kiss him. I kissed him all the way from his throat, working my way to his lips. he moaned and licked my lips hungrily, but pushed me back slowly, looking deep into my eyes. Immediately I wanted to know what he was looking at, control freak that i am, but I just stared back in awe. He never seized to amaze me and his eyes were like glass or water maybe. Transparent. I looked deeper, trying to reach his soul perhaps, or maybe just wanting to know what he was thinking. I desperately wanted to know if he felt the same way about me, if he was as crazy about me as i was about him.

I honestly did feel like the luckiest bitch that will ever live which was not something i would have thought even remotely possible. I mean, every single one of my past relationships had ended in disaster. Savannah said i just had horrible taste in men and somehow always attracted the bad boys with evil tempers. But i couldn't help it! They were so damn fine! I laughed grimly to myself.

However i had put a rest to that part of my life. I closed that chapter a while back and thinking about it now, while laying in the arms of the most beautiful man that will ever walk the face of this earth, was not good. Alex didn't know most of these things about me, and i wished to keep it that way. I didn't exactly want to dig up old skeletons, and just thinking of it sent a shiver down my spine.