The Life Of A Breadstick

Chapter 1

•Hello there (Cue Blink-182) Im gonna start off by saying please don't hate on me because little Lucas won't embrace what he is. Im not writing this to be rude in any manner. Im just bored and some people just need a good 'ol laugh. So enjoy <3•

~

Once upon a time there was a breadstick.

Scratch that.

He was a fetus pretzel stick.

One day, he was waddling down the street to his house at the bakery.

He saw a pink kitten there and when the breadstick walked in, the kitten hissed at him. (Basically he sounded like a sassy turtle.)

The breadstick didn't like the sassy pink kitten so he banned him from the bakery forever.

Later on, a kiwi fruit rolled into the bakery asking to speak to the Queen Loaf.

The kiwi needed help with his algebra homework.

After many hours of confusion, the Queen Loaf forced her smarticle particle, scrawny, breadstick of a son, to tutor the helpless kiwi for 6 months on Wednesdays.

During their math session, they could hear a loud, booming sound coming from next door.

The breadstick and kiwi fruit decided to go investigate.

As theyre slowly tip-toeing around the house, the clumsy breadstick stepped on a banana peel and fell right over while screaming for his mom.

The kiwi was embarrassed to be seen with such a lanky breadstick.

He started to quickly walk away when a door swung wide open and out came a red bandana. The bandana was laughing hysterically. You could probably mistake a hyena to be his cousin.

Anyway since the kiwi was trying to make his great escape, the bandana had to help the breadstick up.

The poor, dear breadstick was still whimpering while the bandana guided them into his humble abode and over to the couch.

"What were you two doing outside my house?" He asked. "One second Im rockin out and the next I hear a pathetic stick of carbs hollering for his mother."

"It's not my fault you had a fricken banana peel by your basement window!", the breadstick protested.

"So you were creeping on me, weren't you? Where'd your friend go? You know what, who cares. Story time!" The bandana excitedly clapped his non-existing large hands.

"Ok where to start...well I guess I should start off with that I used to work at KFC. It was the best job ever lemme tell ya. I don't mean to brag, but uh, I got to clean the bathrooms." He said leaning back and smirking.

The breadstick sighed a very long sigh.

Before the bandana could continue, the breadstick changed the subject.

"So, you play the drums?"

"Yeah. I was in a band called 'Swallow the Goldfish'." The bandana said proudly.

"Well, what happened?" Asked the breadstick.

"I fell in love with a lovely bowtie. #noregrets. In fact, our first date was at KFC. Did you know that they don't give employee discounts to workers who got fired? How rude." The bandana rambled, while shaking his head.

"How the heck do you manage to get fired from KFC?"

"Welllll... lets just say I broke the 'wet floor' sign and bad things happened."

"You should stick to drumming, man. You're good. You're loud, but you're good."

"Thanks, Mr. Stick. Do you do anything of the musical arts?" The bandana asks.

The breadstick thought for a second and said, "Does mayonnaise count?"

"No. It's not an instrument." The bandana says plainly.

"Well in that case, I sing a bit and play guitar. My mom says Im good, but my brothers say I sound like a yodeler falling off a cliff."

"Ah, Im sure you cant be that bad. We should get together sometime and experiment." The bandana said, putting his non-existing large hand on the breadstick's invisible shoulder.

"Yeah, sure. Why not. That asian kiwi fruit says he can play bass and guitar so we should have him over with us." The breadstick said nodding.

"Sounds like a plan. Who knows, we could be even better than those nasty goldfish swallowers."

"Right... Well uh, thank you? For uhm, helping me. I better get going." The breadstick said, while getting up and padding to the door.

"No problem mate. What should I call you?" The bandana asked.

"Im Stick Breadstick, but you can call me Carb."

"Well Carb, Im Kerchief ."

And with that, the breadstick hobbled on home to the bakery.

~

Yay I did it! I know its short, but I'm gonna take it slow and see where this goes lol. Props to lukedaddylonglegs  for calling me Carb. Anyway if ya like it make sure to vote and Im always open for your comments! Y'all are just so funny, I love it! See ya later alligators