It was 67° fahrenheit the day Noah met the love of his life, none other than the messiah, the son of god, Jesus "crispy" Christ himself. The weather was partly cloudy with a 45% chance of precipitation, the perfect weather for Noah to attend church in. He walked in, immediately noticing a giant stained glass mural of Sugga Buns on the wall. It was only then that he realized he was not at church at all. He was in a male strip club.
A beam of sun shone right through Sugga Buns's stained-glass penis and landed on the most handsome man Noah has ever seen. His brown locks perfectly framed his rugged an bearded face. He wore a slutty white robe, and brown sandals that really brought the whole look together.
The next thing Noah knew, the sexy man was standing in front of him, as if he were some sort of teleporting alien, or perhaps the son of some deity.
"My child, why have you come to me?" he asked in a voice like a choir of angles: loud and annoying after 15 minutes. In his awe stricken state, Noah could only think of doing two things. He could pull his pants down and screech like a bird attempting to mate, or he could give his phone number to the heavenly man that stood before him and then leave immediately after without explanation. Noah decided to go with the second option.
Hot man: hey r u that yummy boat of a human from the male strip club right next to the local church?
Noah: yeah. u work there? wuts ur name lol?
Hot man: nah, i work the corner across the street. i only volunteer on sundays haha my name is jesus btw lol
Noah: ooo sexy ;)
Jesus: send nudes lol
Jesus sent a picture message
Noah: im preggo bc i saw ur weenie
Jesus: cool ill devote myself to loving u and raising this child
Noah: lol ok jesus lov u
