A Ship Without Sails

Chapter 17

Daisy knocked on Shayna's bedroom door almost as soon as it had been closed. Shayna had just changed into gray sweatpants and a pale yellow tank top and had been preparing to start her homework when Daisy knocked so hard, the door nearly came crashing down.

"Shayna! Open up, now!" she shouted. Shayna slowly shuffled to the door and opened it a crack. Daisy shoved it open further and knocked Shayna down.

Towering over her younger sister, Daisy put her hands on her hips and leaned down slightly. "What," she said shortly, "happened. With. Kurt?"

Shayna started to stand up but Daisy clamped her hand on her shoulder and pushed her down again. Shayna felt all her fight drain out of her-- she had used it all that day.

"We're going out now," she replied, refusing to look into her sister's furious eyes. Daisy stomped her foot and snapped, "No, DUH. I mean what happened to make this happen?"

Shayna first thought to not tell Daisy about them hanging out at the park the previous night, but she decided she should. After explaining the story, Daisy's arms dropped to her side. Shayna lifted her gaze and saw tears welling up in her sister's hazy green eyes. She took that opportunity to stand up and sit on her bed.

"Sorry, Daisy... I thought--" Shayna tried, but Daisy cut her off, yelling, "Well, you thought wrong!" and exiting the room with a slam of the door and stomping to her own room.

Shayna slumped on her bed and sighed a deep sigh. She wanted to see Kurt, but she had to do her homework. She forced herself to sit at her desk and work until she was done.

"Shayna, what kind of pizza do you want?" a voice called up from the bottom of the stairs after she had finished. Shayna called back, "Pineapple!", the same thing she had said the night before, and continued looking through her closet. Then she paused and thought, Pizza again? Are they still too depressed to cook? Worry for her grieving parents struck her.

Fifteen minutes later, the family gathered at the dining room table and opened the cardboard pizza boxes.

"Ugh," Daisy groaned, "Why pizza again? I'll get fat."

"It's easier than making something," Mr. Blackburn murmured, taking a bite. Mrs. Blackburn stayed silent.

Shayna felt Daisy watching her and tried to not look up at her sister as she ate. With no warning, Daisy said, "Shayna started dating Kurt today," to their parents. Mr. Blackburn's head shot up and Mrs. Blackburn stopped eating and set her pizza slice down in shock.

"K-Kurt... as in Kerry's Kurt?" Mrs. Blackburn croaked. "Shaye, how could you?"

"Yes, we don't know if he killed her or not, and anyway, isn't it weird that your twin sister's ex is your boyfriend?" Mr. Blackburn said.

"I think he's just going out with you for a replacement for Kerry," Daisy smirked.
    "I'm nothing like Kerry! And Kurt is innocent!" Shayna protested, her face burning. She twisted her fingers together under the table in frustration. Why did Daisy bring it up like this? she wondered. Then it hit her. She likes Kurt! How could I have forgotten that? I'm so stupid!

"Besides, won't both of you be busy with the investigation? What if it splits you apart... say, if Kurt did kill Kerry?" Daisy went on, her narrow eyes watching for her parents' reaction. Mrs. Blackburn's eyes widened at her eldest daughter's words and buried her face in her husband's shoulder.

"Daisy! You're upsetting Mom by saying all of this now," Shayna exclaimed, reaching out to touch her mother's shoulder in a comforting pat. Daisy slapped Shayna's hand away and snapped, "No, it's your fault for going out with Kurt!" She stood and gave her mother a hug from behind, giving Shayna a devious smile with a gleam of victory in her eyes.

In any normal time like this, Shayna would have been crying by now. This time, she stayed silent and her eyes dry as she stood and left the room. She went to her bedroom, changed her clothes, put on her shoes, and then headed down the street. She made her way down to Kurt's house and pulled out her cell phone from the back pocket of her light wash jeans.

"Hi, Shaye!" Kurt said when he picked up.

"Hi, Kurt. Can you come out?" Shayna asked, smoothing out her ballerina pink and white baseball style shirt. The pink sleeves were three-quarter length and she wished she had worn something warmer.

Kurt hung up. Shayna blinked in surprise and looked at her phone screen. The call had been ended. She shuffled her brown ballet flats in confusion.

"Hey!" he called from his porch. He ran down the steps and reached Shayna with his arms open. She stepped into him and he hugged her tightly, making her feel safe and warm.

When they broke away from each other, a look of concern crossed Kurt's face. "Why are you here?"

"I... I just needed you," Shayna tried to explain. She told him about dinner and Daisy.

For a while, he stayed silent after she had finished talking. Shayna held her breath for what felt like forever. What if he decides dating me is too much trouble? Is he going to go back inside? Isn't he cold? He's only wearing a tee shirt... because he ran out to see me. Thoughts flew through her mind a thousand times a second, making her head spin and heart race. She was on the verge of panic when he said, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?" Shayna asked cautiously. Her heart sped up when Kurt's head dipped and he lapsed back into silence. Shayna rested her hand on Kurt's upper arm and hoped he couldn't feel her trembling. "For what?" she repeated.

"I shouldn't have asked you out in front of Daisy. I shouldn't have asked you out at all. Maybe I was just confused or something by Kerry, but... You broke up with Blake and I feel bad because it was because of me, wasn't it?" Kurt rapidly explained. He took a breath and continued, "So let's just pretend that this never happened, okay? Go home and tell your family that we're done."

Shayna couldn't respond. Is he right? Am I the one who is confused about my feelings? After a minute of silence, Kurt patted Shayna's back and said, "Come on, I'll walk you home," but Shayna pushed him aside and ran down the street by herself, leaving him behind so he wouldn't be able to see her cry.