What A Beautiful Thing Hope Is

Chapter 14 - Octavian's P.O.V.

There was ice cream in the freezer, a puppy in my lap and a box of tissues. I was waiting patiently for Rachel to be finished with her call with her parents. If it went badly, well... that's what the ice cream, puppy and tissues were for. I also had my phone in hand as I lovingly stroked Umbreon. I was talking to Caesar for the third time this week. I was helping my little brother do geometry homework over the phone. It felt surreal... hadn't even known I had a brother before I got into a car wreck. I guess that was one of the good things of the wreck, even though there were so many bad things. Between helping him with Geometry, I've been telling him about the trip to the Psychiatrist. It was a wreck. The stupid therapist just started picking on Rachel and it infuriated me. I was a little too scared to do anything. That woman was wrong anyway. We'll make it. We will have a future together. We're not like our parents.

While I'm still waiting for Rachel, Caesar tells me something interesting.

"You know Dad had panic attacks when he was kid, right?"

"No, I didn't actually"

"Yeah. Maybe it's hereditary"

"I don't know"

"Why did you have your panic attacks?"

"When some of the kids at New Rome used to bully me I got really upset and sometimes it just happened. I don't know..." I sighed. I hated talking about this, I knew Caesar understood, but this felt too much like an therapy session.

"Hey, if you don't want to talk about, it's cool. Are you alright though? I think I can... I think I can feel your pain over the phone, somehow"

"Its just been a little hard lately"

"Have you been eating?" I didn't answer "Octavian! I'm gonna be a doctor! I know that you have to eat. So, eat something! I'm sure that Rachel wants the exact same thing. Now, go eat something, I can wait" I went to the kitchen and fixed a sandwich. Then I grabbed a treat for Umbreon. I ate the sandwich and gave Umbreon the treat. He barked and ran away the living room, barking happily. I really liked my apartment. Kitchen, living room, two bedroom. Sometimes Rachel slept in the guest bedroom but she was calling her parents from my bedroom because it was cozier.

"Hey, Umbreon! Fetch!" I threw him his tennis ball just as the phone rang.

"Did you eat anything?" Caesar demanded.

"Yes! Goodness, you're like a parent... chill out, Caesar..."

"I have to be like a parent! Ours aren't going to!" He said, his voice braking. Caesar was crying on the other end.

"Caesar? Are you okay?" And then without thinking I blurted "Do you need to come live with me?" Silence on the other end. I could practically hear his tears dry.

"C-can I?"

"I think so. I'm old enough to be a legal guardian"

"You wouldn't mind? Mom says I'm high Maintenance"

"Mom says a lot of things. No, I wouldn't mind. If you want to, we'll try to arrange it. You're my family too, bro. I need you to be happy and you're clearly not there"

"I want to come live with you!" He started crying again, sobbing over the phone. I let him talk it out, telling about how much pressure they put on him and how he was scared he couldn't live up to there standards and how he hated how mean and disrespectful they were to everyone and how he didn't want to end up like them. I couldn't let him suffer. No one deserved to be stuck in a bad family. Especially not Caesar, who was young and innocent. I didn't want him becoming a photocopy of Octavian 1.0, who had died at the age of 19 because of a lot of stupid mistakes.

I emailed my parents while Caesar blubbered, putting the phone on speaker while I worked. I had to get him out of there. I expected a battle, it wouldn't be easy. But I was determined. I wouldn't let them ruin his life.

I didn't want my brother having panic attacks, or pushing away people who could've been his friends.

I didn't want my brother to find himself tangled up in the ropes of an Onager, angry and bitter and ready to pull the lever not caring if it ends his life.

Basically, I want him to find himself as happy as I am with Rachel, not as bitter and depressed as I was before.

I would fight so that Caesar got to be happy. Until I was his legal guardian, I wouldn't stop.

To be honest, I kind of forgot Rachel was in my bedroom on the phone, until she came out.