"What do you want to do tonight?" I asked Harry, we've spent our morning catching up. We've spent lunch hidden in our hotel room just catching up with laugher, small kisses and a lot of forehead kisses. I asked Harry about the whole forehead kissing and he said it's just his way of showing me he really missed me. I couldn't help but smile at him and tried to kiss him, but every time I do try he always makes it short. I mean, it's not a bad thing that he wants talk more than kiss, I'm up for that all the time. But I just want to kiss him sometimes, just shut up and kiss and have him steal away the ending of my sentences and hold me closer to his body and take control and defy me. But then I doubt that was going to happen.
Harry shrugged, "wanna go for a swim?" Harry asked smiling at me, like he had something planned. I smiled shyly and nodded, he patted my knee that lied right beside him, "lets get ready for a swim then." He said tapping my nose with his finger before he got up and helped me up. Before I could turn to my luggage Harry grabbed my face in his hands and pressed his lips on my forehead. I wrapped my arms around his torso, pulling him closer to me. I didn't know what was wrong with Harry, with his forehead kisses and his tight hugs; I don't mind them, it just feels like he's scared of something and it'll be nice to know what. Harry murmured something before kissing my forehead again and letting go.
I didn't know what was wrong, I took a hint that he missed me; he kept me away from human contact for almost ten hours, ten hours of just Harry is something I wouldn't get over. But there has to be a reason to keep me away from everyone for ten hours, he didn't hang out with the band either. I began to think while I was getting my swim alter on, that Harry either knew I saw the video, or someone told me about the sex thing. I wanted to approach the situation, but how can I? Just tell him I know, what if that ruins everything? Then he'll know that Leah was spying on them, but then again, I didn't even know Leah was spying on them until the very last minute. How long was she spying on them and how didn't she get caught? There's just a bunch of questions I keep asking myself because it creeps me out.
I decided that today would be the day I would ask Harry about Leah. I had to think of those questions; how'd you guys meet? What happened between you two? Do you mind that I sometimes talk to her? The normal questions I guess you could say, then I could get into the pretty serious stuff as in; have you had sex with her? Who have you had sex with? Have you been tested for any STD's or STI's? I remember having the talk with my dad back then, I remember him telling me that if I ever asked a guy these questions that it'll lead to sex. Maybe that's just because he doesn't want his only little girl to grow up, but I wasn't thinking about sex... Or I thought I wasn't. I mean, sex with Harry ... If he did have all that experience he must know what to do, yeah?
I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask some question, but I had to begin with the Leah questions first. So I put on my 'tankini' and some shorts before walking out of the bathroom. Harry had on a pair of blue trunks on with a blue sweater while he was on his phone. I sat down next to him and laid my head on his shoulder, "ready chief?" Harry asked, I could feel his smirk against my skin. I looked up at him smiling and nodded. Harry got up and held his hand out, I grabbed it, sliding my fingers in between his before he led us out of the door. I realized how we both left our phones behind, for some reason, I felt like tonight was just about us and I was eager to see what'll happen.
I took in a deep breath waiting for the elevator; I was trying to get my mind straight about asking all these questions, so I just let them spill out. "How'd you meet Leah?" I asked softly looking over at him.
His green eyes widened at the ground before he turned to me confused but a bit shocked at the name. Harry cleared his throat before he spoke, "I knew her since I was younger." He said questionably, as in he wanted to know why I was asking.
I nodded my head, "if you don't mind me asking, but what happened between you two?" I said staring down at my messed up Converse. Dad says I'm just like him; he was obsessed with Converse as much as I am, but I have them in more colors and different styles than he did.
"She didn't want to accept the fact that we weren't working out. So she just began hating me, telling people I was an asshole because I was with different girls when we were broken up." Harry said softly, like he didn't want to hurt me with the words he was saying, "She wouldn't let me have a date, she told them lies on how I would have sex with every girl I dated." He scoffed, "but that just made more girls come along, which was confusing at first but then I realized, they liked the idea of hooking up with a pop star. When she saw me with you it's like she calmed down or something, then I noticed she keeps hanging out with your friend Nes, and I saw you guys at the ball together and I didn't feel comfortable."
Then he just stopped speaking, and I wanted him to. I was trying to get everything together, try and not leave anything out and put all the puzzle pieces in the right places. It was almost like a Doctor Who episode, but at the end you always understood it. But this wasn't an episode, and I don't know when the end was coming, and I didn't know why I didn't want it to end yet. But from what I was thinking; Leah did want to get Harry back, she wants him to feel the way she did and then I thought back to the beginning of all of this. I was supposed to do that because of the experience I’ve had, I wanted to make Harry feel like all those other girls felt. But it isn’t right, I thought it’ll be easy at first, just break down his walls and then just walk away, but apparently it’s not like that. He has a heart, and feelings and he knows how it is to be hurt because I know right now he’s hurt over something he doesn’t want to talk to me about.
I thought about how am I going to squeeze in the sex questions? But then maybe if it doesn’t happen, that’s God’s way of saying just drop it. I mean, I doubt Harry would have any STD’s or STI’s that’s a big thing; Harry knows what he’s doing with his life and his career, why would he fuck it up for some sex? I tried to clear my mind; the thoughts of Harry and Leah being together bothered me, and then I remembered when I saw Leah and Harry together outside the window of English class and I felt myself cringe from the thought. I wanted to bring that back up, ask Harry what was that all about, but I just kept it to myself. Do you know that feeling where something makes you so uncomfortable that all you can do is wrap your arms around yourself and just wait for all of it to be over? Then when it’s over and you look back at it you shiver from the thought and you know you’re not going to put yourself through that situation again… Well I’m waiting to just look back and shiver from the thought.
The pool was empty, only about four or five people there. But it was still weird being in a pool with a shirtless Harry and after all that we spoke about on the way here just made it worse. Usually Harry and I would have the comfortable silence, where it could be silent but it’ll be a nice silent, like we both know we could begin talking at any moment but we’re just quiet because we’re comfortable with each other that we don’t even have to speak. But this was different, this silence was more like we both don’t want to say anything because we might say something that’s not right. Or we might say something that won’t make the situation any better, so we just stayed quiet and once we got into the pool I took my shorts off and dropped it next to the towel and dived right in. The cool water hit my body hard, and I could feel my body growing goose bumps from the cold but I just swam deeper into the pool trying to see how long I could hold my breath for. It wasn’t longer than I thought it could be because once I felt arms around my waist dragging me back up to the surface I ran out of breath. I don’t know what happened, but all I know is that I was coughing and Harry was trying to calm me down. “Next time don’t go too far, yeah?” Harry said once I was calmed. I realized my legs were tied around his torso and his large hands where holding me put at my rib cage. I looked at Harry with his wet curls dangling in front of his face and his bright pink lips were slightly open and swollen with a small smirk on them. He slowly lowered me so I was down to his level, I unwrapped my legs from around his waist and I could feel the floor but I wasn’t touching it just yet. Harry was still holding me up. We were eye level and one of my hands stood at the back of his neck while the other was moving his soaked hair from his eyes. “You weren’t trying to do anything stupid, right?” Harry asked, I could hear he was a bit concerned. I shook my head pressing my lips together trying to think why I went in so far, but I really didn’t know why. “Good.” He murmured softly, I nodded before I laid my forehead on Harry’s. I was still breathing heavy, and most of it was because I could feel Harry’s heart beating against my chest, I felt his chest rising and falling against me. Oh was it a good feeling just to feel his skin against mine since my tank top had risen to the middle of my torso. There was something about a guy with his hair dripping wet that was in his face and water slowly drawing down his skin and his muscles, oh and the fact that I hadn’t seen him in a while brings everything back. Everything that I never knew I missed, like the way when he smirked his dimple would slowly appear. And the small specks of yellow in his green eyes, and when he smiles really big the small crinkles by his eyes appear and his eyes almost close and I missed the way when I kiss the apex of his jaw, I’ll feel his jaw tense up and flex, and I love being in his strong arms and feeling them wrap around me and secure me. It’s just something I loved about Harry a lot and two months without all of that can make you forget a lot about how much you love someone, and now that’s it’s happening, nothing can tell me I don’t enjoy Harry company. I blinked myself back to reality and looked at Harry; he was biting his bottom lip and looking at mine, and I took no time with licking mine and slowly leaning in pressing his lips with mine. It’s been a while since they’ve touched; of course they’ve touched, but not like this, this is the kiss I’ve been waiting to get when I hopped off on that plane together. But I didn’t get it, and now it was like he wasn’t holding anything back, he was giving it his all, moving his mouth with mine so firmly and so easy, like he didn’t want to break something we hadn’t have for a while. I could feel his heart beating against my chest, it was quick and his chest was rising and falling along with his heart beat and I couldn’t help but smile into the kiss. I pulled him by his neck, closer. I wanted to feel every inch of his mouth, everything I’d miss for a while and I wanted to have the feeling of never losing him because I know soon something was going to go wrong. So I just wanted to taste his mouth and have his tongue wrapping around mine until mine surrender.
