And we just sat there like that, with my arms wrapped around his neck and my legs wrapped around his waist while he left his arms wrapped around my waist and his fingertips would slowly glide up and down my spine as he sang Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran. "This feels like falling in love." Harry's voice was in a soft whisper, he didn't even crack once, and he knew all the lyrics and his voice was perfect for the song. It was strange how the song was so relevant for the moment, Harry was just holding me and I kissed his neck every couple of moments because I just wanted him to know that I was going to be okay and every time I look into his eyes I feel like he doesn't know who I am, he doesn't know what my plan was for him and I hate that. All that was running through my head was if Harry was a virgin or not; was what happened a couple of minutes ago was his first time as it was for mine? But I didn't want to ask, I couldn't find myself asking because I knew I was going to be afraid of his answer. It was going to be what I wanted it to, but I still want to know, so I kissed Harry's neck softly, I kissed his jawline and his cheek all the way to his mouth and pecked his lips softly, "I have a question." I said while closing my eyes and having Harry lean his forehead against mine. Harry hummed telling me to continue but I stood quiet until the words left my mouth in the right form. I don't think there was a correct way of actually asking, but I tried to do it without the sentence making me cringe. "Was that y-your first time?" I wanted to take back the question and shake my head telling him never mind and kissing him until he gets the thought out of his head and we'll move on into something else. But that wasn't going to happen because I felt Harry tense up, but I didn't know if I should open my eyes or not. So I felt them close and waited for his response.
It took Harry a while to open his mouth and say something, "no, it wasn't my first time, Bella. But I'm not saying that I've done it many times before." I bit the inside of my mouth. There it was, laid out on the table, the truth that was spit right in my face and I don't want to accept it even though I asked the question. I asked Harry who was his first time and his answer made me more pissed off than the first one did; actually the first one didn't piss me off. It was just a small disappointment because I did want to be his first time, but his answer just made me want to push Harry away and kill him, "Leah." Leah was his first time. The girl who made me do this whole Harry Styles must die thing. She was the one who told me to kill Harry Styles because he's a player and he's been with other girls before but now the puzzle pieces were falling into place; Leah wanted me to do this all along so she could get back at Harry for breaking up with her. She wants someone to do what he did to her, she wants someone to shag him and walk away like he probably did to her. Maybe I could do that, or I could make this first time something real; something better and something I never thought would happen before.
"Let's try again." I said softly. I didn't want to say it louder because I felt like the neighbors would hear and they'll know that I just lost my virginity but it failed and I wanted to try again.
"What?" Harry asked. I just nodded and looked into his bright green eyes hoping that he would understand. "Bu-but ... Bella." He stopped speaking and just looked at me; like he was trying to read what was going through my mind and what was I planning. "But I hurt you the first time. I don't want to do it a second."
I shook my head, "Harry, I want you t-to make love to me. Nobody’s first time is a walk in the park, but I love you, and I want all of you." I said before leaning in and kissing his lips softly. He nodded after a while before I got off of Harry's lap and lay on my back again.
"We're going to do this right this time." He said before he leaned over me kissing my mouth, "by right I mean I'm going to make this the best I can." I could hear that Harry was still hesitant but when he kissed me again I tried to tell him that I wanted this as much as he did. So he kissed my mouth as his hands ran up and down my sides softly, "you're so soft." He murmured against my mouth, I smirked as my fingers ran over his back feeling the indents and his back muscles. Harry's fingertips slowly ran over my stomach causing me to inhale deeply; I didn't want him to tickle me and he took a hint because his fingertips went back to my sides. When they reached the bottom of my breast Harry looked at me with question in his eyes. I nodded, "I want to get explore every part of your body, Bella." He whispered as his large hands covered my breast. A smirk came across Harry's lips, "perfect size." He said before leaning down and kissing my mouth before his left kisses over my cheek and jaw as his mouth went down to my collarbones and he began kissing there softly as his hands groped my chest softly. I bit my bottom lip as I just lay on the bed letting Harry explore my body as he wanted to. He fingers brushed over my nipples softly having my breath hitch, a smirk came across his mouth again as he rolled my nipples in between two fingers causing me to whimper softly. "You okay?" He asked. I nodded as I tried not to make too much of a sound, but it wasn’t as easy when I realized how Harry was more serious about doing it right the second time around. It’s nice to know that if I fucked up at something, Harry wouldn’t just give up on me like everyone else would, instead he allows me to try again and make sure I get it right the second time around.
