I didn’t see Harry after everything that happen; Leah left and I didn’t know where too, I couldn’t even get my words into her brain or my fist into her jaw. I just sat on the bed with Nes trying to comfort me; I knew there was going to be a ending to this quickly, but I didn’t think the ending would be that quick, I didn’t think I’ll feel so numb that I couldn’t see it coming to me. Maybe that’s why I’m crying because I could imagine my life without Harry now, I could see me going back home and having everyone hate me. Press finding out everything that’s been happening, having looks from people who live around us frowning upon me and shaking their head at me because I’m a cruel heartless girl who broke up with Harry Styles. My thoughts went to Leah and I could imagine her going to the press or trying to comfort Harry and try to make her his rebound. That’s when I jumped up, Nes didn’t say a word, and I wanted to tell her I’m sorry for everything that was happening but she knew it was going to come but then she stood by me no matter what, she’s still here even though I’ve been crying and saying stuff that probably doesn’t even make sense to her, but she held me and cooed and ran her fingers through my hair. I walked into the bathroom and took off the running make-up; the one day I thought to wear make-up was the worse because it began to run by tears of the unknown. But I took all the running mascara and I took off the eyeliner and I washed my face and told myself to shape up because I was going to do everything possible to make this right again. I walked out of the room and told Nes to stay in the room and if she contacts Leah to either text me or call me; of course she thought I was going to do something crazy but I promised her I wouldn’t. I just walked out of the room and went straight for one of the lads’ room; I knew they had a room on a higher floor, so I ran up the stairs because Harry wouldn’t take the elevator knowing that I might just run after him. When I got to the floor I saw Harry entering the elevator and Louis grabbed me from around my waist and pulling me toward him while Harry got his getaway. I groaned and pushed Louis away from me, “what the hell is wrong with you? I could’ve fucking caught up to him!” I began punching Louis chest with my rolled up fist and the tears that began to crawl down my cheeks, “I could’ve tried and fix everything.” I said before dropping onto my knees and I stood there, not knowing what else what to do. My fist were holding onto Louis’ shirt as he scooped me into his arms and picked me up cooing me to keep shut and that everything will be okay.
But I couldn’t believe that everything was going to be okay, and I took a moment to think about when people say that. Why does everyone say it’s going to be okay when they don’t even know what’s going to happen? For a second I believed that everything was going to be okay, because Louis was Harry’s best friend and maybe Louis knew that everything was going to be okay. But I doubt it, I doubt that Harry was going to forgive anything that he knew was now going on, and if everything was going to be okay he would’ve gotten out of that elevator. I just think that everything will be okay is just a sad excuse. It’s like when you tell someone a sad story or tell them that one of your relatives passed away and they say they’re sorry, but in reality they just want to give you pit and they just don’t know what to say. So that’s why Louis said everything will be okay, because he doesn’t know what’s going to happen in the future and he feels bad for me being such an idiot and fucking everything up so bad.
After a while I stopped crying and Louis just stared at me; waiting for me to speak, but what the hell was I supposed to say? I think Harry pretty much told Louis all that has happened, so why do I have to give him a rerun? “Why’d you grab me?” I asked him softly, I couldn’t look at him, and I couldn’t speak any louder, all I could do was play with the bracelet that was on my wrist. I could feel Louis’ eyes on me, trying to see through me and see why I did what I did and expect for everything to get better. I know nothing will ever be the same, but I wasn’t going to give up that fast even though maybe I should.
