Looks That Kill (Nikki Sixx FanFic)

Nikki

I woke with a start, jumping slightly and my head whipping around in every direction. I took in the room around me, realizing that none of it looked familiar. Everything was white: white drapes, white walls, white floors, white sheets.... And then, my eyes caught a spot of color in all of the blank spaces, and there he was.

"Bret."

His chest was bare, the sun light pouring in through the window caused his bronze skin to glow. His eyes were still closed, just like they had been when I had arrived, but fluttered lightly while he slept. There were some machines and wires attached to him, but I tried to ignore those like CC had suggested earlier. Instead, I smiled at the red bandana wrapped around his head, happy to see something so familiar on him. Something so human.

"Oh, Bret..." I sighed softly. I reached out a hand and latched onto him, giving his fingers a light squeeze. I absolutely despised seeing him like this. He looked so broken and weak. It was a complete contrast from his usual, bubbly self. It damn near broke my heart.

"I see you've been keeping him company."

A voice caused me to nearly jump out of my skin. I spun around to see who it was who had spoken, and I gasped at the figure standing in the doorway.

His black hair was disheveled and falling into his face, creating a spiky curtain that I could just barely see through. He had developed dark circles under his eyes, and his cheek bones protruded a bit more than usual on his now very gaunt face. He wasn't wearing his usual make up, but there was no mistaking it. He was Nikki Sixx.

He stood in the door frame, motionless. Looking him up and down, I saw that he wore a leather jacket with no shirt underneath, and tight jeans with holes all along the legs. I couldn't help but notice how much skinnier he had gotten since the last time I'd seen him. His skin seemed paler than usual and he had a strange look in his eye. A mixture of fury and pain. I gawked at him, not sure of what to say in response.

We hadn't spoken in months, but it felt like years. And now, here he is, standing and staring while my boyfriend lays half dead in this bleach soaked hospital room. He had so many chances to call me, to come visit me, and this is how he decides to re-enter my life? Talk about bad timing.

"Nikki..." His name felt strange on my tongue. I had been forcing myself for so long to suppress memories of him. To pretend like he had never existed. I hated thinking of him, hearing about him, and-obviously-even saying his name.

I hated how good it felt to finally say it.

"What're you...what're you doing here?" I murmured, still not quite sure if this was real or not. I was watching him carefully, scared that looking away would cause him to disappear. Equally as terrified that looking away would cause him to come closer.

At first, he said nothing. His eyes left me and instead began trailing up the hospital bed until they rested on Bret's sleeping face. Nikki's lip twitched slightly.

I gazed after him, confusion playing across my features. I couldn't think of any reason why Nikki would care to visit Bret in the hospital. Not that Bret and Nikki hated one another, but they also didn't really care for each other either. Bret especially didn't like Nikki after knowing that the two of us had dated. Then it hit me.

Maybe Nikki is here for me.

The thought stirred up a familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something I had felt before when Nikki and I had kissed in the kitchen all those nights ago. The thought also brought up a slew of questions, ones that I wasn't sure I had the answer to.

Why me, and why now? Why would Nikki show up in Bret's hospital room, after months of not having anything to do with me? Why does he look so frail? Why is he staring at Bret like that? What the hell is going on?