Looks That Kill (Nikki Sixx FanFic)

Confessions

"Winter!" Bret's voice pulled me from the blank slate that had been my brain for the passed couple of hours.

I realized now that I had been staring out of the kitchen window, scrubbing the same plate for the passed ten minutes. I turned to see Bret was giving me a concerned frown, looking between the squeaky clean dish and myself.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" He asked softly. His tone told me that he was concerned, but his eyes told me that he thought I was going insane. And maybe I was.

The overwhelming sense of guilt that I felt for cheating on Bret had been growing into a monster since Bret had finally woken up from the coma he had been in. Even worse was the knowledge of how only hours before, Nikki and I had been making out.

God, I missed Nikki.

"Winter?"

I locked eyes with him, my fear growing when I realized that I still hadn't responded to his question. He had to know that something was wrong with me now, right? Could he guess what it was? What I had done?

My hands were trembling, causing the plate to crash land into the sink in front of me, shattering into pieces.

"Winter, you're crying!"

Was I crying? I hadn't noticed. I dabbed a finger just below my eye, pulling it back and seeing the clear liquid glide down the length of my finger and nestling between my knuckles. Huh.

Bret was struggling to stand from his wheelchair, and that was when I finally found the courage to speak.

"Don't!" I ordered, my voice coming out much louder than I had intended. My command echoed throughout the kitchen, causing Bret to stop in his tracks and gaze after me, shocked and confused.

"I-I'm fine," I stammered, turning away from him and beginning to pick up the pieces of the shattered china.

But I knew that the jig was up. I was acting so irrationally at this point, even a blind man could see that I wasn't in my right mind at the moment. I could feel Bret's intense stare piercing holes into my back, practically crippling me with the intensity of his gaze.

"Winter," I flinched at the tone of his voice. He was trying so hard to sound strong, unwavering, and yet his voice cracked at every syllable. "What is going on?"

I gripped at the counter for support as my whole world came crumbling down around me. My heart was leaping against my ribs, threatening to tear a hole through my chest and run miles and miles away from here. I wanted to go with it. I didn't want to stick around for the consequences. I wanted to be somewhere far away, preferably with Nikki. I didn't want to see what my infidelity could do to Bret. I didn't want to see him hurt.

But I owed him this much. I owed it to him to tell him what had happened and to allow him to react. Not only would it be cowardly, but it would be absolutely heartless to run away now. And besides, how could I do that to CC? How horrible would it be to ruin their friendship even more by having CC admit to Bret that he knew all along, but waited to let him in on the news?

No. It would suck, and it would hurt, but I had to be the bad guy here. And, if I wanted to be with Nikki, I had to do it now. Because, as much as I hated to admit it, Nikki was right. I would much rather skip the fighting and keep Bret happy by staying with him. I was a people pleaser and, if that meant staying with a man who I didn't really love just to keep him from crying, I normally would. So I had to do this quick. Just rip it off, like a band aid.

On top of everything, there was also the fact that I had never dumped anyone before. They either ran from me when the curse injured them, or were killed before the relationship could end. Hell, even when Nikki was my fake boyfriend, he was the one who did the dumping.