Glowing x - A The Script Fan Fiction

Glowing x - Chapter 17 - Pain.

Warning; Parts of this chapter may be upsetting to some readers, for this I apologise in advance!

Last time we left Amy;

From downstairs I hear my BlackBerry ringtone going off, who the fuck could that be at this time of night? Quickly I hop out the bath and wrap a towel round my body before trudging downstairs. My phone is still ringing when I get there and I’m about to get it out of my bag when a muscular arm wraps around my body pulling me into a solid chest. Before I can react another hand covers my face.

“Honey, I’m home.” Ben’s voice comes from behind me before releasing a bitter laugh.

Amy’s Pov

 I lay in bed with my head on Ben’s chest listening to his beating heart, once I believed that his heart only did that for me. That if I left him he would be unable to live, like I would if he left me. That he would willingly give up his life for me, like I would for him. Then I was a naive little girl so in love with the idea of love. So ready for someone to love me, the actual real me, not just my body. I should’ve known that he wasn’t an angel like I let myself fantasise. I should’ve realised that I wasn’t his only lover. I should’ve realised that he never had and never would love me like I love him.

And now here I am, a captive in my own home. Trapped until he sees fit to release me. Is this really what love is? One sided and cruel? People speak of one true love and finding ‘the one’ and to be honest there was always a part of me that knew he wasn’t mine. Not really. But majority, like it so often does, won. My mind just kept on fantasying and imagining this perfect live for us. A live full of love and laughter. Happy and content. So I kept living a lie. Making myself believe this was the case, making myself happy when really I was the opposite. I’m not going to lie to myself anymore, because covering up something doesn’t mean it’s not there. Even though presents are wrapped in elaborate, pretty wrapping paper, we know there’s something beneath the cover. Eventually it’s torn off and present is discovered underneath. That’s how I imagine secrets, some are amazing presents, the ones you can’t wait to tell people about, like that phone you always wanted or whatever floats your boat. Others are unwanted, like socks or underwear, you don’t want to tell anyone about these things. Ever. And my secrets are the socks and the underwear, unwanted, needing to be shoved in the bottom of a draw somewhere and forgotten. Alas, as well as we hide them we still find them at some point in our lives. Mainly when we least expect them to appear. So some nights, when Ben is lying asleep next to me, I just lie awake and sob until all the tears had run dry. None of us can truly shut off our past but mine affects me more than others. There things that I’ve seen that will haunt me to the grave and beyond...

The image of Rori Lane appeared in my head again, she just won’t leave my mind alone. There something about her, something that reminds me of myself. But not just that, her names familiar to me. It reminds me of a person I’ve been told about, I think, I just can’t place my finger on it... It can’t be her first name that reminds me of someone because she’s the only female Rori I’ve ever knowingly met and it’s definitely a women. So the answer must lie with her surname. Maybe it’s a celebrity? I carefully rack my brains for some sort of answer to my problem, but the only celebrity I can think of is Brian Lane, a fictional character in the BBC 1 program New Tricks. No, she definitely doesn’t remind me of him! And last time I checked he was quite definitely not female!

Lane, Lane, Lane, Lane...Could it be Penny Lane the Beatles song? Nah, that’s not it...What then?

Suddenly my phone started to buzz on my bedside table, interrupting me from my thoughts. Trying not to disturb my captor I reach across to it. My numb fingers feel about for the smooth surface of my phone, or the mouse trap as it shall now be referred to in my mind. I wouldn’t be in this position, a prisoner in my own home, if my shallow little world didn’t revolve around that small black box. But that’s of the many both visible and invisible flaws and advantages of 21st Century. Technology. I personally love to hate it, but I couldn’t live without it. Modern people are lazy little sods who like everything hand us on a plate. We’ve left all the hard work to our foremothers and fathers and the people less well off than ourselves. It makes me sick. If it wasn’t for Danny I’d be one of those people, one of the unfortunate....Wow that was deep...All that ranting due to a text. I think I’m losing it.