On The Bright Side

Chapter Three- Do I Wanna Know?

//cause there's this tune I've found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat//

This is when it's easiest. I'm on the bus with Kings of Leon in my earbuds and a conversation with Beck playing out on my phone. There's storm clouds outside, and I can tell that before long the sky is gonna split and rain down all of its pent-up thunder and rain. I couldn't care less about my homework or my parents.

Beck: and like Dr. Manhattan is kind of a dick tbh

Me: ikr

Me: I mean I get that he's all transcendental or some shit but he doesn't have to be so rude

Beck: exactly he makes Laurie feel like shit but he was human before I feel like he should understand emotions more if he's so smart

I'm making her read Watchmen. My Chemical Romance covered this song Desolation Row for the movie adaptation, and it's like the quintessential comic.

Beck: you find out who Rorschach is right

Me: yeah he's messed up

Beck: no no don't tell me

Me: don't worry I don't wanna spoil it

Beck: okay good see this is why I like you any of my other friends would have ruined the whole thing

Wait.

Okay, this is when it's not easy anymore.

Because she just said she likes me. But, again, I can't tell if she means it to be casual or if she wants something more as much as I do. Shit, what if she does like me? We can't exactly date. And if- when, I realize- we break up I won't have anyone to talk to anymore. She keeps me sane and I don't want to lose it.

Although if she means it when she says she likes me I might lose all composure.

Maybe it's easier the way it is.

Maybe I'm overthinking everything.

The bus grinds to a screeching halt, interrupting my reverie, and suddenly the rain starts to fall in heavy drops. It's gonna be a wet walk home from the transit center.

Me: um what no why would they do that

Beck: because they're soulless omg and want to see me suffer because of spoilers

Me: terrible

Beck: ikr

Beck: honestly though you're so much easier to talk to than them

Me: dude same

Beck: ugh if I ever come to oregon I'm taking the first bus straight to your house I stg

Me: nice

Me: I'll have the popcorn and netflix ready

Beck: I'll bring redvines

Me: yES

I mentioned that I loved Redvines exactly once. And she remembers. God, am I blushing? Stop blushing, I tell myself. Chill.

Beck: shit

Me: what

Beck: I gtg my dad's really mad fuck

Me: oh noo

Me: don't get your phone taken away or anything

Beck: well idk if he'd let me get off that easy ok I really have to go

Me: aw okay bye

She reads the message but doesn't respond.

I'm soaked, and lonely all of a sudden, as I stand on the corner waiting for the light to change and the cars to start back up again.