Nepenthe (TMR FF) UNDER EDITING

Chapter 7

It was getting dark. The doors were going to close soon. I didn't care. I didn't care about anything anymore. I don't care about Newt. I don't care about the Glade. I don't even care about the shucking Grievers. I just wanted to sleep. Forever. Possibly never wake up. God, getting stung by a Griever would hurt less than everything I felt right now.

"I hate you!" I screamed, banging my fists against one of the walls of the Maze. "You told me to never leave you! I stayed right by your side, even when you ignored me! You left me, Newt! How could you?"

My knuckles had begun to bleed by now. I probably looked like a mess. A hysterical, crying mess. That didn't matter though. Nothing mattered.

"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." I whispered, over and over again. I think I was just trying to convince myself. Maybe if I could actually hate him, it would hurt less? No. Nothing could make this hurt less. My best friend just tried to commit suicide. And I couldn't stop it, because I had no freaking idea how bad he was. How could I not see it? He didn't throw his head back when he laughed anymore, and his eyes never lit up when he smiled. It was fake. It's been fake for three weeks. What a great shucking friend I am.

"Hey there." I looked up from the spot I had been punching and met the dark eyes of Minho. I clenched my jaw, narrowing my eyes at the Asian.

"What do you want?" I spat, examining my bruised and bleeding knuckles. Minho shrugged, sliding down the opposite wall of the maze in which I was standing.

"It's getting pretty dark, Emma." He stated, as if it wasn't obvious. I rolled my eyes.

"What's your point, Minho?"

"The doors are shutting in less than an hour. You can't spend a night in the Maze by yourself, Emmy." He stated. I stared at him for a moment, before letting out a sharp laugh.

"You've got to be kidding me?" He must be joking.

"Emma—"

"Don't you 'Emma' me. I have spent a night in the Maze alone! I'm the only damn person in the Glade to have spent a night in the Maze alone. Can we just emphasise the word 'alone' for a second? Because none of my 'friends' came to help me? Why didn't you come help me?" I yelled, hitting the wall again. Minho slowly stood up, his eyes filled with multiple emotions. He walked over to me slowly, carefully analysing my every move.

"Why didn't he come help me, Minho?" I asked, my voice softening.

"I don't know, baby girl." He replied honesty, wrapping his arms around my waist. I squeezed my eyes shut, in attempt to stop myself from crying. I've cried to much already. I've got to be strong for now on. I'm the girl who survived a night in the maze.

"I miss him too." Minho admitted, making me sigh. Minho was Newts best friend long before I was. I didn't even realise how much this whole ordeal could be affecting him as well.

"I'm sorry, Minho." I muttered pulling away from my friend.

"Yeah. So am I."

"Do you wanna get out of here now?" I asked, realising that the doors could close any second now. He smiled sadly, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the direction of the doors.

"You'll be okay, Emma. One day."

Will I?

When we came back to the Glade, everyone hugged me. Some of the boys that I had never even talked to came up and told me that they're glad I'm safe. I almost cried. So many people cared about me. So many people cared about Minho. So many people cared about Newt. But did that matter to him? No. He was just a selfish, little –

"Hey, there's my favourite girl!" A familiar voice announced, wrapping an arm around my shoulder without warning. I stared up at Ethan, who was technically still a greenie at the moment. We've gotten quite close. Whenever I was upset because of Newt, he'd always be right there by my side; telling me how much of an idiot my best friend was. It didn't help all that much, because even after ignoring me, I still thought so highly of the shank. But then he gave up.

"Hi, Ethan." I mumbled. His eyes softened, when he noticed the mood I was in, and he pulled me tightly to his chest. He rested his chin on top of my head; one of many benefits he has being tall.

"Bit of a rough day, yeah?"

"That's the world's biggest understatement." I muttered, sighing against his chest. If Newt saw us like this he'd freak and pick a fight with him. One time they wrestled for hours. Totally friendly though. They were really good friends now, after all. Plus, Ethan was like a brother to me.

"You're taking it really well." He noted, pulling away from me and eyeing me up and down. I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. If only he knew what was going on in my head right now.

"You could say that." I stated, shrugging. Ethan sighed, running a hand through his blonde hair, looking exhausted. I bet I looked 1000 times worse.

"He's going to wake up soon, Emma."

My breath caught in my throat, as I glanced over towards the Med-Jacks quarters. Newt was probably lying motionless in a makeshift bed, oblivious to the fact that every single person in the Glade was worried about him. Hell, even Gally was pacing around.

"Yeah." Was all I said, as I continued to stare in the direction that my best friend was lying; completely dead to the world.

"He's going to need you to be there for him, Em..." He spoke, his voice softening. I narrowed my eyes, turning to glare at my friend.

"I need to be there for him? I was there for him, Ethan! He told me to never leave him! I was by his side for three weeks whilst he acted like I didn't even exist! But was that enough for him? No!" I growled, throwing my hands of in the air. "You've been here for three weeks, Ethan. I've been here for three months. Three months by his side." I managed to calm myself down, so I spoke in a whisper. I wanted to cry, I wanted to throw up. I wanted to go back into the Maze so that the Grievers could get me. But I couldn't do that. I was emotionally and physically drained.

"Emma, you do realise that none of this was your fault...right?"

I turned away, clenching my jaw. I stayed silent, in fear of breaking down completely if I uttered another word. Of course it was my fault. I should've tried harder. I should've been a better friend. Maybe if I was then he wouldn't have jumped. He's lucky to survive, really. The vines don't go all the way to the top, but if he climbed to where the vines reached, then there's a 99% chance that he would've died. I just don't understand how he did survive.

"He needs you now, more than he ever has." Ethan spoke, quietly placing a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sure Minho is up there with him." I said calmly, shrugging his arm off. Ethan sighed.

"I can't force you to go see him, Em. But I sure as hell know that if he loses you, he'll have nothing left to live for." After that, he walked away without a single word of goodbye, leaving me with my own depressing thoughts.