Nepenthe (TMR FF) UNDER EDITING

Chapter 30

My stomach growled loudly when I saw Newt walk up to me with a plate of food and a bottle in his hand. It was merely some bread and water, nothing compared to some good spaghetti, but I wasn't going to complain any time soon. At the moment, as far as I was concerned, food was food.

"Hey." Newt muttered, handing the plate through a gap in the door. I raised my eyebrows, resisting the urge to make a stupid and sarcastic comment. I was in enough shit with everyone else, and Newt was already cautious around me considering I almost impale him.

"Hi." I replied, giving him a weak smiled and taking the plate. I moaned loudly, taking a bit of the piece of bread, followed by some water. Newt frowned, sighing loudly.

"I know it's not much, but it was all that Alby would let me give you." He explained, rubbing the back of his neck and sitting cross legged on the ground.

I pressed my lips together, looking away. "Does everyone hate me now?" I asked, my voice breaking slightly. I cleared my throat, before swallowing. "I mean, I don't blame them. Or you."

"You think I hate you?" Newt asked, his jaw dropping. I hesitated, before shrugging.

"I could have killed you."

"But you didn't."

"But I could have."

"But you didn't." Newt raised his eyebrows, daring me to say it again. I rolled my eyes, looking away. He was stubborn. "Look, Emma, I knew from the start that being in a relationship with you would be tough, considering that you were the only girl in the maze. Back then, I was prepared to face everything, thick and thin. Nothing has changed."

"But why. Why would you still want to be with me, when I don't even know who I am?" I asked, my voice wavering slightly. I wasn't going to cry. I've already cried to much lately. No more tears for Emma.

Newt smiled, a grin that lit up his entire face. "I know who you are Emma. Despite what anyone else thinks or says, you're good. You're the kindest person I know, and that's one of the reasons I love you."

My heart leapt in my chest at the last three words. It had been so long since I had heard Newt tell me that he loved me and each time was better than the last. How could he continue to love me when I attempted to kill him? When I can be controlled by the people who put us here? When I apparently was the person who put the Gladers here?

"What if it's not safe to love me?" I sighed, licking my lips and taking a sip of my water.

"Love can be dangerous. But that's why you have to keep fighting." Newt whispered, sticking his hand through the door. I hesitated, before finally reaching up and taking it. He squeezed it tightly, running his thumb back and forth over mine, as if a form of comfort.

"I don't think I can fight for very much longer." I admitted, pressing his hand to my face. I could feel the tears start to pool in the back of my eyes, but I wouldn't let them fall. I had to be strong.

Newt ran his thumb over my cheek, smiling weakly at me. "I guess I'm gonna have to fight for the both of us then?"

"Am I really worth all of this, Newt? If I wasn't here then your lives would be much better. The maze doors would close, the sun would be out...you wouldn't have your limp."

Newt's hand froze, his eyes widening. He opened his mouth and then closed it again, almost as if he was at a loss of words. Finally, his eyes softened, and he grabbed both of my hands in his own.

"Emma...What I did...You don't really think that it was your fault, do you?" He asked, his voice cautious and soft. I bit my lip, looking away.

"You felt like you had no one, right?" I muttered, my shoulders slumping.

"No, Love, I always knew that you were there. I was being selfish, Emma. I didn't even consider how you might have felt about it. None of what happened was your fault, baby. I love you for always being here for me, even after I attempted to leave you. I could never ask for a better best friend and girlfriend." Newt gushed, squeezing my hands tightly. And then the tears came. A mix between happiness and sadness. There was no sobbing, or shaking. It was just tears, plain and simple. Peaceful tears.

"I love you, too." I laughed, bring one of my hands out of his grasp and wiping my eyes. Newt smiled fondly at me, wiping away a stray tear that was running down my cheek.

"I wish I could be in there with you. Alby is being a stubborn shank though." He sighed, looking defeated. I shrugged.

"He doesn't trust me and I'm okay with that. Everyone will be safer with me in here." I told him. It was the truth really. As much as I hated it in here, with little social time and little food, it was for the best.

"He's overreacting." Newt rolled his eyes, pulling his hands out of the little gaps in the door. I laughed, scoffing quietly.

"He wants to take care of the other Glader's. That's understandable. I'd do the same in his position." I shrugged, smiling in reassurance. Newt raised his eyebrows.

"Would you lock me up?" He asked.

I furrowed my eyebrows, biting my lip. "No. I don't think I'd be able to."

"Now you know how I feel. I can basically see you getting skinnier by the second."

"Now you're the one overreacting. I'll be fine." I reassured him, a smile gracing my face. He looked at me for a few seconds before sighing.

"Fine, but—"

"Newt! I told you to give her the food and come straight back." A voice scolded, which I quickly realised it to be Alby. I stepped back from the door, shuffling in my spot awkwardly. "The doors should have closed twenty minutes ago. We need to get everyone in the homestead and—"

Alby was cut off by a high pitched screeched which I could only recognise as the sound a Griever makes. The two boys eyes widened as I shrunk back in fear, wanting nothing more than to curl up into a ball and be wrapped up in Newt's arms.

"We have to go now! Get everyone inside to a safe pace and barricade the doors!" Alby told the blonde boy, who stood frozen in his place, staring at me. His eyes darted between us and his fists clenched at his sides.

"Alby, she can't be left in here!" Newt finally exclaimed, gesturing desperately to me.

"She's safer in here than she is out there, Newt! She's staying inside the slammer." Alby's time was final, and he had already begun rushing away. "Say goodbye and hurry up and help me!"

Newt turned to me as Alby ran in the direction of the homestead. I bit my lip, nodding in the same direction. "Go." I told him.

"I can't leave you." He whispered, obviously feeling conflicted. I rolled my eyes.

"Come on, Newt. They need you. Like Alby said, I'm probably the safest out of all of you."

"I don't like it, Emma." Newt sighed, giving up.

"Neither do I, but you gotta accept it. Now go." I told him, flicking my wrist. Newt gave me one last longing look before turning and running to the homestead.

I watched in fear and anxiousness as the other Gladers ran around the Glade frantically, like chickens with their heads cut off. I swallowed, taking a big gulp of my water. If a Griever wanted to get in here, nothing was going to stop them. I mean, it would be difficult, but if they tried enough, then they could definitely break in. I did lie a little when I told Newt that I would be the safest. I was alone. They would most likely try to go for the people alone rather than the groups. That's if they had a brain that is. They could have been controlled like I was, or am.

"Well isn't this a funny sight to see? Little Emma's all locked up." My eyes widened and a choked noise escaped my throat as I looked around desperately, trying to find the person behind the voice. It was a sound that I had thought that I would never hear again, yet hearing it wasn't exactly comforting either. I finally looked to the left of the Slammer to see the boy, his eyes looking me up and down, a look of fear consuming his features, despite his choice of words. He walked close to my personal prison, and crouched down, looking concerned yet amused at the same time.

"Gally."