Lost Without Them (Ashton Irwin Story)

Movie Night

Storms POV

It's not until Calum and Michael come back into the room, carrying more food than is humanly possible for anyone to eat, that my brain catches up to the situation. I can't eat any of this.

It's not that I starve myself, not really, I have just cut back on what I eat... by quite a bit. I mean, I was never skinny and it more than just me who noticed, so I cut back on my food intake and it is quite effective, for me at least. Although I admit I may have taken it a bit far, I cannot under any circumstances bring myself to eat more than half a plate of food.

The boys set down the food, basically covering the whole coffee table.

"There's more out there if we need it, but I think this will do us for now. Have you chosen a movie yet?" Michael asks, setting down three 2l bottles of what I think is Coca-Cola on the floor next to the table.

I was too busy eyeing all of the food the boys plan to eat to realise who he is aiming his question at. Luckily, Luke speaks up for me.

"Not yet. We didn't know what you wanted to we have just been looking at the choices while we waited."

I smile slightly as a thank you to Luke, getting a slight nod of his head in return to show that he noticed.

"I know boys can eat a shit tonne of food, but don't you think this is a little much?" I hesitantly ask.

"Nope. To be honest, I'm surprised your brother hasn't gone to get the rest yet. I mean, you live with this guy, I don't understand how there is any food left in this house when he is around. He is literally like a walking trashcan." Ashton chuckles from where he is sat, in front of me with his back against the front of the sofa.

"Hey! I do not appreciate your tone, Irwin." Michael grumbles from his spot in "his" chair.

"Well, we don't appreciate watching our leftovers get suctioned in and revolved around your mouth either but we get it anyway." Calum fires back, cringing slightly at what I presume is a memory, making the rest of us apart from Michael giggle.

"You're meant to be on my side, Calum," Michael whines, just making us laugh more and Calum joining in this time.

"Whatever you say, Clifford. To make it up to you, although we are probably going to regret this later, you can choose the movie." Calum reasons, moving to sit to the left of me as Luke drops down in the seat to the right of me.

"Horror it is then. Make you all suffer for being mean." Michael smirks, taking the remote to look through the horror movies available. I just roll my eyes, already more than used to my brother's antics.

I sit crossed-legged behind Ashton, his head resting back against my legs, as the opening scene to whatever movie Michael has chosen begins, the boys already digging into the food.

"Do you want me to get you some?" Ashton asks as the boys begin to settle in for the film.

"No, it's alright. I'm not really hungry right now. I'll probably have some a bit later." I reply, hoping he will believe me. He shoots me a look but turns back to the film nonetheless. There is no way he can know.

I have no plans to eat much, if anything, considering I have already had my breakfast and my sandwich, which I ate as I walked home. I have eaten my quota for the day; if I eat any more then I will start to put on weight again.

Of course, my mind has something to say about that too.

You're a fat pig anyway, what would a few extra pounds matter?

This is really not the time. Any other time, I would be able to pretend that the thought is not there, but surrounded by the boys is not my idea of ideal. Some days I really wish there was a way to block out everything or argue with my own thoughts – but why argue with something that tells the truth.

They don't care. They just hang around because they feel sorry for you. I bet they laugh and joke about how fat you are when they're on tour. You're a fat, ugly, worthless bitch and everyone knows it.

I will not cry. It may be true but the boys don't need me to burden them with anything else other than my presence.

After three movies, the boys start to get tired. I glance at the clock, seeing that it is quarter to one in the morning. I look down and notice that Ashton has fallen asleep against my legs. I smile slightly, reaching out hesitantly and running my fingers through his curls. I giggle slightly, drawing the attention of the others, when he makes a weird noise in response to my touch.

Michael takes a quick look at the clock after noticing that Ashton is out for the count against me.

"Alright guys, it's pretty late and I don't know how much longer I can stay awake although, apparently, Ashton is well ahead of all of us in that department." That makes us all laugh quietly. "Anyway, are you guys staying down here or do you want me to help you settle in before I go? As far as I know, Ash is with me and you two..." He points to Calum and Luke who nod in acknowledgement, "... are together in the guest room." They both nod in confirmation that they heard what he said.

"It's alright, we'll come up in a minute. You three can go since I can tell you're tired. I'll clean up down here and Luke, if he sticks around, will help." Calum turns to Luke then, who nods in return, before getting up and stretching as Luke starts to clean up all of the used plates and cups.

As Michael sets about getting Ashton upstairs, once I have been freed from being used as a pillow, I approach the other two who are cleaning up tiredly.

"Are you sure you don't want me to do it so that you two can sleep?" I ask them quietly.

Luke shakes his head and smiles tiredly as he continues picking up empty wrappers. Calum, who had been dropping off plates in the kitchen sink, responds.

"Think of it as me repaying you for letting me stay for longer than the one night that these two are, and Luke is helping a friend out and thanking you for letting him stay here tonight." I look at him doubtfully. "Honestly, Storm, we are used to working in more tired conditions and we would feel bad if the only girl in the house tonight was the one that cleaned up after the guys who made the mess."

I sigh, giving in. "Fine, but get to sleep straight after. You look like zombies as it is, especially Luke. I will see you in the morning." I state but do not move until both respond.

"Yes, mum." Luke jokes, waving tiredly in response to me before heading into the kitchen to throw away what he has in his hands.

"Goodnight Storm. We promise, now go to bed yourself." Calum laughs as he turns me around and nudges me towards the stairs.

As I climb into bed, after removing my make-up and changing into more comfortable clothes, I hear the other two pass by and say goodnight to Ashton and Michael before entering the guest room. I close my eyes and go over the events of the day I just had. Maybe I can finally work things out. The boys are back and I haven't fallen on my old habits for two days now. Things seem to be getting better.

Oh, how wrong could I be?