Obsessed

Save Me.

Song for this chapter: Sing by My Chemical Romance.

Trigger warning- please do not read if you are easily triggered.
Remember I love you random citizen!

Save me...

The familiar burning.
The familiar feeling.
Spreading through my wrists.
My hips.
I can feel so much but so little at the same time.
It's like I'm not meant to be here.
In this world.
It's like everything was happening in slow motion.
Like time had slowed down to a stop at this exact moment.

It's not giving up.
It's starting over.

I remember when I was 6.
When I fell over in the school play ground and grazed my shin so much that it was all a pink colour.
I remember feeling the pain.
And thinking..
'This is the worst pain I've ever felt'
But on that day I didn't cry.

I remember when I was 8.
I burnt my fingers on the cooker.
My mum was hysterical which made me panic.
I looked down at my fingertips and thought..
'Will they fall off?!'
It was a stupid thought but I was too young to realise the way life worked.
I didn't cry.

Then when I was 11 I was outside playing with my brother.
Running around crazily.
Not a care in the world.

I remember fainting for the first time.

I remember breaking my arm.

I remember the first time I felt love.

I remember the first time I picked up a book.

I remember my last love.

I remember the day he left.
That was the second worst pain I've ever felt.

What's the first?
The worst type of pain I've ever felt was when I picked up a blade for the first time.

I remember the burn it left against my skin.
I remember the relief I felt after.
But I also remember the regret.
The hatred I felt towards myself.

I remember so much.

Suddenly it's like time started again.
Everything was happening too fast.
The pain.
The regret.
The hatred.

My last thoughts were:

I'm sorry for everything

It was like I could hear my own heart beat..

Beep.
Beep.

Beep.

Slowing.
Slowing.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Silence.

A/N

I actually made myself cry whilst writing that.

Vote, comment, blah, blah, blah...

Love, newts_fangirlxx

Edited- 22/06/16