New Enemy or Old Lover (Final book in the "Love or Lust" trilogy)

Chapter 15:

"Madison?" His voice shook.

I nodded my head, pulling him in for another hug. My arms wrapped tightly around his neck as I lifted myself up on my tippy toes, burying my face in his hair. I felt his arms immediately lock around my body tightly, and I coughed a bit from how tight it was, but never complained. Tears were streaming down my face as I embraced every moment I have with Andy.

I felt warm tears soak my shirt as they poured out of his eyes. My lips formed a smile as I gripped onto his hair, never wanting to let go. I loved him so much, and I could never forgive myself for forgetting that.

"I missed you... So much." He breathed out, kissing up and down my neck. "I looked for you... Every single day..."

"I'm s-so s-sorry..." I stuttered, taking in deep breaths. My heart rate was racing and I couldn't control it. My tear soaked cheeks were as red as a fresh rose, but I continued, "I.. I d-didn't remember a-anything or a-anyone..."

"It's not your fault," He said softly, his voice shaking with tears.

I shook my head, "It is."

He pulled away, "How can you say that? Madison, he kidnapped you-"

"This is all my fault!" I shrieked, pushing off of him. Andy's eyes went wide with surprise, his mouth hanging agape. I ran my shaking fingers through my hair, my heart continuing to race at a high speed, "It's all my fault, Andy.. All of it.."

"Angel," Andy extended a soft pale hand, moving a piece of stray hair from my cheek as he spoke, "It's not your fault.. Nothing is your fault..."

"God dammit I'm the daughter of Lucifer, Andy," I spat out angrily, staring into his crystal blue eyes. Andy let out a sigh but did not reply, and I continued on, "If I wasn't, there wouldn't be any problems.. If I wasn't born? You wouldn't be in the situations you've gone through," A tear slid down my cheek, "If you killed me last year, your life would've been-"

"A living Hell, Madison!" He shouted.

"No! It would've been perfect! You would've been human, or maybe even a full angel!" I screamed, tears streaming down my face, "If you killed me that day that Moraine assigned it to you, you wouldn't of been in all these poor situations! You wouldn't of been hunted down, you wouldn't of almost been killed, you wouldn't of had to deal with Lucifer and Harry!"

"You would've been normal," My voice went down to a whisper as I shook my head angrily at myself, "You could've started a new life-"

"I don't want a life if it doesn't have you in it, Madison Grey," He cut me off, grabbing my arms firmly, "I had a choice, alright. To kill you, or to spare you and walk away. I made my own choice and fell in love instead, and I wouldn't change it for the world," He leaned down, pressing his lips to my temple as he continued, "Every day was perfect if it meant I woke up next to you. If it meant that you were by my side every single day. You were and still are the only light in my life."

"You've changed me," He went on, looking into my eyes softly. "If I never met you, I would've been the same monster I was, killing for fun. Working for Lucifer. Doing shit I wasn't supposed to be doing." He paused, biting his lip, "Every day you weren't here, I grew weaker. I searched for you daily, day and night I did. I went to angels all over the place, ones who were still in Heaven and ones like Elliot who are assigned down here. I had my fallen friends patrol the forests, and Patch found the portal."

"I told him to watch over it every single night, for it was the only time it was actually open and alive. Harry, who you now know as the new leader of Hell," He rolled his eyes at his own sentence before moving on, "He jinxed it. Nobody's allowed to go on, which he did specifically so Patch and my other friends couldn't save you.."