I walked up to the place that Demi had called home for four whole months now. Four months without her almost killed me. I'd hate to know what it'd do to me if she left this world.
As soon as I saw her, I burst into tears and she, the same. The smile on her face was something that I had never seen before. It was genuine.
I couldn't move, but she ran into my arms that were wide open for only her.
She inhaled deeply. "It feels so good to be home."
I got confused as we were still standing in the facility. "You're not home yet."
She looked me in the eyes, hers full of lust. "Yes, I am."
It took me a moment but I understood what she meant. I was her home.
I cried harder and embraced her tightly in my arms. It felt incredible to be holding my whole world again.
~
I think going back to our dorm was hard for Demi. As soon as she stood in, her hand flew to her mouth and she fell on her knees crying. Much like I did when I first came back. Sobs wracked her body and I couldn't do anything else but hold her.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." She kept repeating over and over.
I cradled her tighter and shushed her. She had no reason to be sorry. Sometimes these things happened and you have no control over them. I knew that first hand. She hurt me, yes, but this world was hurting her.
We sat on the floor for half an hour. I just held her while her sobs subsided. She used both of her hands to push herself up, her body was exhausted. She walked away from my grip, towards her bed and collapsed on top of it. I did the same. The time away from Demi had exhausted me to the point where every time I stood up, my knees felt as though they would buckle underneath me. But I'd do it all over again if I had to, for her. I'd go through hell and back and walk along broken glass with no shoes on, for her.
~
I woke up to the sound of sobbing. In that exact moment, I realized just how hard it would be for the next few months. I realized just how hard Demi had to fight just to get through each day and I made a promise to myself that no matter what happened, I'd fight with her. I'd never walk away from her. Ever.
I got out of my bed and walked over to hers. Without a single sound or word, I climbed in beside her, threw the covers over us both and wrapped my arms around her. If there was one thing I had learned, it was that sometimes you didn't need words. Sometimes, you just needed someone there.
Her breath evened out and I knew instantly that she was asleep again. I wouldn't question why she was crying. She would tell me in her own time and I respected that.
She unconsciously grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight. I found myself in a dreamless sleep soon after.
~
A week had passed and things were going well. Demi was sleeping, eating and going to class all the time. I was proud of her. I am proud of her. She had come a long way. Every day, she would show me her wrists and thighs, not because I asked but I think it gave her some peace of mind if I knew she wasn't hurting herself. I trusted her enough and didn't need the reassurance but whatever made her happy, made me happy.
Demi and I had started to become closer than before. Although we never labelled ourselves as being in a relationship, we didn't need to. We knew that we loved each other and that's all that mattered, really.
As I laid in her bed, I couldn't help but giggle as I remembered what she had said when we first met.
"Something funny?" She laughed.
"Whatever happened to having me in your bed within 3 months?" I smirked.
"You're in it right now, aren't you?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Dee, you know what I mean." I groaned.
She looked me dead in the eye, without blinking. "I didn't expect to fall in love with you."
I swallowed hard as tears built up on the brim of my eyes. "You're in love with me?"
She wiped away a stray tear that had fallen down my cheek and smiled. "Very."
I couldn't hold myself together and tears started flowing. Not because I was upset, no, but because I was so happy.
The girl I had grown to love was a mess when I first met her and now she's laying beside me, sober, telling me that she's in love with me. That was the one moment that will forever be burned into my mind.
~
It was around 6pm when Demi walked out of the bathroom all dolled up, obviously going somewhere.
"Where are you heading?" I smiled. This would be the first time since rehab that she had actually wanted to leave the house.
She bit her lip. "To a party."
I felt a pain in my chest. Parties in college meant alcohol and I wasn't sure if Demi had the willpower to stay away from it. I was hoping with everything that she did, and it wasn't like I could keep her in a bubble for the rest of her life. I had to trust her.
"Have fun." I smiled, even though I was already worried sick.
"You aren't worried?" She tilted her head and frowned.
I shook my head. "Nope. I trust you."
She hugged me and made her way towards the door. After turning back and looking at me, I heard her whisper four worrying words before leaving.
"I don't trust me."
