"Don't be so fucking selfish." She spat at me while I sat there in tears.
"I'm the one being selfish?" I spat back.
"Yup." She nodded. "So, stop."
"You're the one that keeps trying to fucking leave me." I spoke honestly.
Months later and she was still trying to leave. She was back to her old habits and I was the one taking every fucking blow. But as I said, I'd take every blow happily if it meant she was still here and still mine.
"So let me." She cocked her eyebrow.
I scoffed. "Let you? Let you put all of that pain on people? On me?" My tears came out faster than before. "No, I won't let you." I whispered.
"It's not like you have a choice anyway."
And she was right. I didn't have a choice. There was only so much that I could do to protect her and as much as I wish I could have, there was no way I could be by her side every second of every day. If she was dead serious about wanting to leave, and she was, I couldn't stop her. I couldn't fucking stop her.
~
We sat on my bed. Things that were said earlier, still swirling around in my head. Everything was racing around in my head, all at once. I couldn't handle it.
"Let's play a game." I suggested.
She smirked.
"No, not that kind of game." I chuckled. "It's called text door neighbour."
"Sounds interesting." She cocked her right eyebrow. "How do we play?"
I smiled a genuine smile. It was just the two of us, sitting on my bed. There was no alcohol, no cigarettes, no other girls, just happiness.
"Well, whatever your mobile number is, you change the last number at the end to the number either below or above yours." I tried to explain. "For example, the last number of my number is two, so if type my whole number and just put a one or three at the end." I smiled. "And you just text them and say 'hey text door neighbour."
She laughed that laughed that I had fallen so in love with. "Why are we doing this?"
"Something to do, I guess." I bit my lip.
"I could think of a million other things we could do." She leaned forward and whispered in my ear, sending chills down my spine. "But.." She pulled away. "Because you seem so excited, we'll play this. Those other things can wait until later."
I felt the blood rush to my cheeks but shrugged it off as I typed a message to my text door neighbour.
"Okay done. Your turn." I told her.
She began typing and sent it, letting out a husky laugh after.
"What's funny?" I questioned.
She looked at me with the most serious face I had ever seen. "Wait, what was I supposed to say?"
"Hey text door neighbour?" I replied, my voice hinting more of a question than a statement.
"Oh shit."
My eyes went wide. "Oh no, what did you say?"
"I.. Uh.." She stuttered. "Asked what they were wearing." Her cheeks flushed red.
I threw my head back and laughed so hard that I couldn't breathe.
"What's funny?" Demi whined.
"I like this, Dems." I admitted.
"I like you."
I scoffed. "Like?"
"Love." She pecked my lips quickly.
We sat there until we heard a ding sound from her phone.
"They replied." She said with excitement.
"Read it!" I screamed a bit too impatiently.
She bit her lip and read it. "They said they were naked with a winky face." She threw her phone across the room and threw her hands over her mouth.
I couldn't help but laugh hysterically. It was times like that, that I absolutely loved. Times where her and I would just be laughing, around each other without a care in the world. In those moments it was only her and I and nothing else mattered. There were no bad things, no tears, no worries. It was bliss.
"I love you. So much." I said suddenly.
She looked at me and I saw the tears form in her eyes. Please don't run away from me again.
"I am so fucking in love with you. You'll never be able to comprehend. If I weren't so messed up, I'd ask you to marry me right now because I honestly couldn't imagine my life without you, Sel." She breathed. "You are like a breath of fresh air when I'm feeling claustrophobic. You are the first sip of coffee in the morning. You are mine. Mine to keep, mine to love, mine to hold."
"Do it." I said, suddenly.
"Do what?"
"Ask me to marry you, Dee. Marry me."
She wasted no time getting down on her knee in front of me. Tears streaming down both of our faces.
She grabbed my hand gently and placed hers on top of it. "Selena Marie Gomez, I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else except you. You hold my heart in your hands and your name will forever be embedded in my heart. You make all of the bad worth it. If it means waking up to you every day, I'd live a thousand years. A million years. There is no other place that I would rather be than kneeling right here, in front of you, in a shitty dorm. Anywhere with you is where I want to be. I'm not perfect and I never will be but together WE are perfect. I want to spend my life with you. I don't have a ring right now but Sel, will you marry me?"
I jumped on top of her, causing us to both crash against the hard floor and kissed her. "Yes." I repeated over and over. "Yes, I will marry you. I'll spend my whole life loving you. I will spend forever cherishing you, Dee."
So maybe we were young and dumb, but we were in love. It doesn't get any better than that right?
