"Dee, why did you cry? What's the real reason?" I pressed on the subject.
It had been a week since the incident at the party and since I had told Demi I was in love with her.
"Not now, Sel." She sighed.
"If not now, then when?" I grew more annoyed as the seconds passed.
She ran her hand through her brown hair. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Why Dee? You never want to open up to me. I'm your girlfriend." I paused. It still felt weird saying that. "You're supposed to confide in me. That's what happens when you're in a relationship."
"My first love." Demi stated.
I raised my eyebrow not knowing where this conversation was heading.
"She- she killed herself." She stuttered.
I felt a pain go through my heart. "Why?"
"God, I don't fucking know, Selena." She was frustrated. "Those were her last words to me before she threw herself right in front of a train in front of me. 'I'm so in love with you'" she used her fingers to quote the words.
I widened my eyes. I couldn't believe how much pain and suffering Demi had been through. She was a warrior. She was my favourite fighter.
"I'm sorry." I touched her hand. "I didn't meant to press on it."
"It's fine. Forget it." She huffed.
We both sat there in silence. I wanted to know what was going through that pretty little head of hers.
She broke the silence. "Will you sing for me?" She croaked and that's when I noticed her tear stained cheeks.
"I thought you said I couldn't sing." I joked trying to cheer her up.
"I lied. You have a wonderful voice. Please sing."
I couldn't say no to her, so I did.
Hush darling, your silence is deafening
I know you're hurting in the worst way, you don't wanna stay
There will come a time to go, but it's not your time so don't leave me
I need you here to fight this war
And I don't wanna see a world without you
It wouldn't be the same, the same at all
Your future awaits you here
I can feel it, it's so close
And I know right now that you wouldn't believe me, when I tell you that your purpose here will be worth you seeing, breathing
There will come a time to go, but it's not your time so don't leave me
I need you here to fight this war
And I don't wanna see a world without you
It wouldn't be the same, the same at all
So don't go, so don't pass the pain on
Oh, you're strong
And I know you're tired in a way, the sleep won't change
And the stars don't seem as bright as they used to
We will fight it, until you're alright and the pains outgrown 'cause you're not alone
So don't leave me, I need you here to fight this war
And I don't wanna see a world without you
It wouldn't be the the same, the same at all, at all
Oh, so don't leave me, I need you here to fight this war
And I don't wanna see a world without you
It wouldn't be the same, the same at all
I took a breath in and looked into her chocolate brown orbs. "So don't go."
She was crying and so was I. We both understood the meaning behind that song more than anyone else and I was pretty sure it only just hit her how much I truly adored the brown eyed girl.
"Did you - did you write that?" Her voice cracked.
"I did." I smiled through my tears. "For you."
"Why do you care about me so much?" She whispered.
Another pain shot through my heart. How could someone not care about her? She was so precious. She deserved nothing but love and care. With every word she said that was negative towards herself, it shattered my heart.
"Because you're you." I said simply.
She didn't reply, and I knew she was doing this because she needed reassurance.
"Demi." I began. "You are so beautiful and I don't mean physically, although that is true, I mean, your heart." I placed my hand on her chest. "It's pure. It's full of love."
"Seeeeeel." She whined and her cheeks turned crimson.
"No, Dee, seriously. I know you don't want me to say it but I am in love with you. I'm in love with your heart and your soul. I'm in love with the freckles that grace your cheeks and I'm in love with the way you look at me. Like everything around you just blurs out and I'm the only thing you can focus on."
She bit her lower lip. "That's because that's exactly how it is whenever I look at you."
I smile at her. "I care about you simply because I just do. I couldn't not care even if I tried."
Although her face was tear stained, she couldn't have been more beautiful in that moment. She looked deep into my eyes and opened her mouth as if to say something but closed it just as quickly.
"Say it." My voice was barely above a whisper. "It's okay."
"I'm so in love with you, too." She sighed in relief.
"I know you are, Dee. I know." I grabbed her hand and gently kissed the top of it before laying down, pulling her with me.
I spooned the broken girl and wrapped my arms around her waist. It was moments like these that I never wanted to end. Moments where there was nothing but innocence and pure love.
She tangled her fingers with mine and used her thumb to stroke mine lightly. Too many moments spent like this, I took for granted. And only God knows what I'd do to get them back.
If I had known back then, what I know today, I never would have let another moment like this slip by. I would have grabbed that moment with everything I had. I would have embraced her more and cuddled her tighter. I would have kissed her for longer and told her how beautiful she was every day.
But sometimes we take things for granted because we don't expect things to ever end. We think we have forever, but we don't. And Demi proved that to me.
