Allegiant's "Actual" Ending

Chapter 56: Tobias

*4 months later...*

I go to the infirmary, not wanting to stay, but wanting to see her. I can't stand to sit by her like I used to for that first month. It is too painful, seeing her like that, for four months, Four months. I get to her window and notice something is off.

I few nurses are in there instead of the usual one. I realize that she isn't there anymore. My hands go numb, and the doctor approaches me. He takes me by the arm to a windowless door, and before I can say anything, he says everything.

I don't hear anything after those first 2 words which echo in my ears.

She's awake.

I say frozen for a moment then all at once, every part of me is straining toward her. I don't wait for an okay before I push the door open. I close the distance between the bed in 2 long strides.

She is sitting up against the pillows, looking pale but alert. Our eyes lock and they swallow me whole, reminding me of a thought I had, that felt like forever ago; her eyes make me think of wide- open skies that I have never actually see, only dreamed of. It's been too long and I can't think, but some part of me knows what it is doing when I bend down and kiss her. I slow it down, make it last before a nurse gently pulls me away, and this time I don't resist.

Then I am running again, though this time it is towards, not away.

~*~

As I run, I become more invigorated, aware of everything at once.The sunlight streaming through the glass ceiling and sparking off the tiles of the floor, the faces of passing people, the life of the plants and relative peace of the morning. Everything seems more colorful and I feel more happiness and more hopeful than I have in months.

I find Christina with Cara chatting in the dorms. Christina is telling Cara a story, about Tris, and I stop to listen halfway through the doorway. "... and Al picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. She shrieked and waved to Four. Al was so big- people moved out of the way to avoid getting run over. You should've seen their faces. And Tris' face was beet red and Will was laughing at her because of something Four said. She was so embarrassed. We were so happy I just...."

Finally Cara notices me and Christina stream of chatter fades as she turns to see where Cara is looking. Seeing me panting slightly in the doorway, her large brown eyes widen and she is on her feet in moments. I turn away, not wanting to talk and disrupt the calm that has settled over me, and jog back down the hallways knowing they will follow. Neither of them ask any questions until we get to the infirmary.

"What's hap..."

I watch as she looks to Tris' normal room and becomes momentarily confused until she sees the nurse leave her new, windowless room. Christina looks dazed and Cara slightly hopeful as they kind of wander over to the door and peek in.

I don't wait to see her reaction. Sitting down in a plastic chair, I'm surprised at how exhausted I suddenly feel since I've become an insomniac. Sleep blankets me and hope makes it a dreamless bliss, shielding me from my own thoughts.