Nothing Like Us

chapter 8

"We should go snowshoeing this winter B. Wouldn't that be sick" Justin says from his place beside me on the floor. I'm not really sure why we are laying on the floor we just kinda ended up here, staring at the ceiling, smoking a blunt.

I look over at him and laugh. "Where the fuck did that come from? It's the middle of summer J."

He takes a long hit off the blunt, holding it in but ultimately ends up choking on it because he's laughing now too. "I don't know babe, you love winter n shit and that's something I've never done. It just popped in my head."

"You're so random sometimes. Now pass that over here Mr. Stingy"

He turns his head to the side to look at me with red glassy eyes and a grin on his face. "Oh well if I'm so stingy maybe I'll just finish this myself." He says sticking his tongue out at me.

I reach over to grab it off of him but he holds it out of my reach so I straddle my legs over him. "First off if you stick that tongue out at me again I'm gonna bite it and secondly..." I grab the blunt from between his fingers bring it to my lips and inhale deeply. He bites his lip and watches me intently for a moment. I lean down bringing my lips to his. He parts his lips slightly to accept the smoke that I gently but steadily blow into his mouth.

He grips my hips "Damn..why do I find that so hot B? We haven't done a shotgun in a long ass time."

I nudge my nose against his then giggle. "I don't know maybe we're weird but I think it's hot too." I hand the blunt back off to him and watch him finish the last little bit of it before he stubs it out in the glass ashtray that sits beside us on the floor.

He props himself up on his elbows. "So what would you like to do tonight B? We can do whatever you want."

I climb off his lap and sit Indian style beside him. "Umm I don't know."

He shakes his head. "You never know what you want to do."

He's right. I usually just go with the flow. I'm terrible at making decisions for myself. "Well what do you want to do then Justin? Since I never know what I want to do." I tease.

He shrugs his shoulder. "I'm just fine with having you all to myself right here. We can cuddle up in bed and watch a movie, maybe order some room service or something."

I lean down to give him a peck on the lips. He brushes my hair from my face then wraps his hand around the back of my neck, pulling me in for a deeper kiss.But before things can go any further he pulls away. "Let's move to the couch baby. See what's on TV."

I nod, stand and reach my hand down to pull him up. It makes me sad that he seems like he's afraid to touch me. We haven't talked about what happened to me since I initially told him and that kinda scares me. I know how Justin's mind works. He's going to want to know who exactly did this. I've just been waiting for him to bring it up but he hasn't nor has he even tried anything with me besides a kiss here and there. It makes me wonder if he sees me differently now. I have no doubt in my mind that he loves me but I'm just afraid he's not attracted to me like that anymore, like I'm damaged goods and I hate that more than anything.