Nothing Like Us

chapter 34

"What the fuck are they doing?" I yell, jabbing my finger toward the crowd of paps that are already waiting outside the emergency room, blocking the ambulance's way. "Get the fuck out of their way!" I scream, lowering my window just enough to be heard while reaching out to press continuously on the horn to get their attention. Once they notice me, they'll come running for the car, leaving it clear for the ambulance to pull in.

"Dammit Justin!" Mikey barks.

"What?" I snap right back "Keep going. They'll move!"

I'm jumping from the car before it's even stopped. Mikey jerks it to a halt, and hurries out, chasing after me to protect me from the dozens of bodies and cameras that are fighting to get closer.

"Hey!" a security guard calls out, struggling to be heard over the deafening noise of all the commotion "You can't park there!"

I fix him with a glare that instantly silences him and wait, breathing so heavily I feel like I might pass out, trying to see through the tiny windows at the back of the ambulance through my tears until several nurses and doctors rush out to yank them open.

"B..." I whisper, stumbling back to let them through. A paramedic hovers over her, perched on the stretcher, working furiously while another pumps air rhythmically into her lungs with some sort of plastic balloon looking device.

They shout back and forth, as everyone works together seamlessly to pull her out and pop the legs and wheels of the stretcher into place. And I can do nothing but stand in silent horror, trying my hardest to stay upright in the frantic mass of people that surround me, shoving me this way and that.

In a surprising burst of strength, I begin quickly pushing my way through to follow as they rush her through the emergency room doors.

Security has been put into place with impressive speed and the paps are barred entrance and left to press their cameras against the sliding glass doors. The sudden quiet, well...it isn't quiet, they're still shouting and calling out medical terms and vitals to one and other, but with the absence of the roar of the photographers, I finally can really focus on what is happening.

I'm running alongside, holding her hand, calling her name "Why isn't she awake?" I scream at the paramedic that looks familiar with sobs racking my body "I fucking told you to make her understand that she has to stay awake! And..." my eyes zero in on her "Oh Bobbi girl..." I rasp with fresh tears when I realize.

Her dress is gone, sliced down the middle, lying ruined on either side of her, dripping blood onto the stark white hospital floor like some horrible trail marking our path. Even though it's gone, there's still too much blood for me to be able to tell where exactly it's all coming from. It crushes me. It sounds insanely stupid given the situation, but I can't bear the thought that everyone out there saw her like this...all the pictures that they snapped of her. Of Bobbi...my B, in her most vulnerable moment, when she couldn't stop them...when I couldn't stop them. They shouldn't have seen her like this. I should have done something.

I bend down as close as I can get to her and brush a kiss against her cheek, barely touching her "I'm so sorry b...I'm so fucking sorry. Come on baby girl, I'm right here...open your eyes, squeeze my hand...something. Just let me know you can hear me." My desperate plea remains unanswered and all at once I'm being shoved back firmly by a large nurse, or doctor, or orderly...I don't know who the fuck he is.

"Hey!" I growl, shoving him back "Get the fuck away from me!" I crane my neck and peer frantically over his shoulder as they wheel her further away.

"You can't go any further." His voice is commanding, but kind "They're going to prep her for surgery. Someone will keep you posted every step of the way."