Nothing Like Us

chapter 3

"What the fuck?" I snap, rubbing at my eyes as I pull the door open...not because I've been asleep even though it's close to four in the morning, but because I can't see straight.

"What are you doing?" Fredo asks the second he lays eyes on me. "What was up with that text?"

"What?" I squint my eyes trying to remember what I texted him.

He shakes his head and pushes his way into my room...his eyes land on the small pile of coke on the mirror that's resting on the table that's also crowded with empty beer bottles and a half full bottle of Grey Goose. "Damn Justin..." he begins in that fucking concerned tone he can't seem to lose lately, surveying the scene.

"Man can't you shut the fuck up?" I slur, falling heavily into a sitting position on the couch "All you do is run your fucking mouth anymore." I bend down and snort a thick line back and then fix him with a condescending 'what are you gonna do about it?' look.

"Put that fuckin shit away..." he says with a hint of sadness in his tone. "And turn the music down, its way too late for it to be this loud. The last thing you need is for someone to call the cops and..."

I wave my hand around and smile through the lonely ache in my chest as the coke takes hold "Listen to this shit...its fucking perfect." I begin to sing along, loudly don't fool yourself, she was heartache from the moment that you met her and even in the state I'm in I can tell I'm slightly off key...which I find fitting...nothing about this is right, it shouldn't sound right either. "That's what she was bro!" I call out loudly and then continue on my tears fall down as I try to forget, her love was a joke from the day that we met "Damn Fredo," I laugh spitefully "Its fuckin true...it was a joke to her or some shit...she just walked the fuck out. Just took her shit and..." I wave my hands around again "Disappeared."

"Come on J..." he says softly, trying to slide the coke away from me.

I shove him away "You want to party? Grab a line. If not, get the fuck out."

He straightens and stares me down "You want to get her back?"

"No." I roll my eyes as if I'm disgusted "Fuck her...just fucking fuck her. I hate her."

He folds his arms across his chest and watches as I snort another line "Do you?"

"Yep." I nod casually.

He remains silent as I lean back against the hotel room couch...listening to the song that's still blaring through the room my heart is frozen still as I try to find the will to forget her somehow....she's somewhere out there now...

I lose it all over again "Fuck Fredo...she's gone. She left. Where the fuck is she?" I search his face with tears in my eyes as if he'll be able to fix things. "Is she ever gonna come back? I just...I need her to come back."

"You do? You need her to come back? Then stop this stupid bullshit!" He yells, shoving the mirror and the coke to the floor. "All you fucking do is get messed up and feel sorry for yourself! Well guess what? I don't feel sorry for you! It was a joke to her? No, sorry looks like it was the other way around. This shit right here is why she left and you just keep doing it. So fuck you Justin...I don't want to hear it anymore...you want her back? Make it fucking happen. Get your fucking shit together! This is all you!"

"Mother fuck!" I scream, jumping to my feet, my mouth hanging open in shock as I stare at the ruined coke on the carpet.

"Here..." he grabs the straw off the table an offers it to me "Wanna snort it right up off the fucking floor? Because that wouldn't shock me."

"Fuck you..." I yell, shoving at him again "Get the fuck out of my room."

He lets the straw fall from his fingers as he holds his hands up in angry surrender "Yeah I'll go...just like she did. You want her back so badly Justin...get it the fuck together. Because keep going like this and she won't be the only thing you lose because of it."