Nothing Like Us

chapter 28

Jacque places a friendly hand on the arm of the waiter leading us to our table for lunch "Oh, this one's right by the window..." she smiles apologetically "Justin likes to sit further away, helps cut down on the people walking past noticing him."

He looks around at the dining area, which is crowded with the LA lunchtime rush, nervously.

"This is fine bro, don't worry about..." I smile and then reach forward to pull her chair out before he has a chance.

She sits down with a worried look on her face, she likes for things to go as planned because it makes it easier for me, so I place a kiss on the top of her head "Chill babe...it's fine."

He places the menus before us, rattles on about the specials for a minute, and then leaves us on our own to decide while Mikey and Hugo settle into their places at the table beside us.

"Chicken salad..." she muses, thinking out loud "I think I might have that...it's light, you know? And we had a big breakfast."

"I told you we could wait to eat Jacque..." I remind her "You wanna go? We could look around the shops for a while or whatever until you're hungry."

She assures me that she's fine, but I'm not really listening, because she's mentioned chicken salad, that was one of b's favorites, and of course, now my thoughts are consumed with her.

Its been a year since I've seen her...haven't even heard her voice since the day I called to tell her about the tape Megan leaked. She changed her number, her parents did also. And no matter how hard I tried I never came any closer to figuring out where she even was. She just disappeared, like she never even existed at all in the first place. I spent a few months basically wishing I could just disappear as well, even after Jake unexpectedly dropped all the charges and I was released from house arrest...I no longer cared that I was finally able to leave the house...nothing mattered without her anyway.

But eventually it was time to get back to work. Scooter was insistent. My family was beyond sick with worry. The label screaming about contractual obligations. And the crew that I care so much about, dependent upon my career to pay their bills. She was gone, and it was painfully clear she wasn't coming back..it was time to at least try to get back to functioning on some sort of normal level.

I still miss her. It's not as hard as it was at first when I was nearly crippled with grief every single day, haunted by her constantly, aching with something that felt exactly like homesickness...but I still think about her far more than I should. I'm not really over her, but I've stopped wondering when that day will come, because maybe it never really will.

"So what are you gonna get babe?" Jacque asks, smiling sweetly at me.

"Oh..uh..." I stammer, feeling a little guilty about where my thoughts have drifted while I'm supposed to be enjoying lunch with her "Probably just a cheeseburger or something."

"If I go with that salad are you gonna think I'm one of those annoying girlfriends who eats like a bird because she thinks it's cute?" She jokes.

"Totally." I joke back, laughing when she swats me with her cloth napkin.

She really is sweet...and in the few months we've been dating, I've come to really like her. But there will always be something missing there, she'll never be my bobbi girl, even though it makes me feel like an asshole that I feel that way.

"Oh..." she brightens "So listen! I heard this new Thai restaurant is opening in Santa Monica this weekend. It's supposed to be amazing...want to see if we can get reservations?"

I raise an eyebrow at her with a cocky grin "If we can get reservations? Who you talkin' to, girl?"

"Modest aren't you?" She teases.