Nothing Like Us

chapter 2

I watch as he shuts the door behind him, completely stunned into silence. I glance over at Fredo who looks at me nervously out of the corner of his eye. I close my eyes and lean back in the chair, afraid that if I don't tears will start racing down my cheeks. My heart is still pounding and I have a lump in my throat so big that I feel like I could choke on it. When he hugged me I didn't want to let go. There were so many things that I wanted to say but I didn't. I just sat here acting completely indifferent. He must think I'm a horrible person. I can't stand the way this feels. I wish I knew what the answer to all this is, but I don't.

Opening my eyes I look over at Fredo who is staring back at me. We make eye contact. The sad look he gives me makes the tears that I've fought so hard to contain, start spilling down my cheeks.

He jumps up and pulls me into a comforting hug "Awe Bobbi don't cry."

"I hate this Fredo. I hate it so much. How did this happen? We're like strangers now and it's all my fault." I cry harder into his shoulder.

"This isn't all your fault and you know it. You gave him a choice and he blew it but you guys can fix this I know you can." He puts both his hands on each of my arms and pulls back a little. "Seriously you can work this out. Justin is a lot different now."

I shake myself free from his grip and sit back down, staring at the floor. "It's been three months Fredo and so much has happened. I just...I just don't know."

He remains quiet for a beat. "You know he's not doing any of that now right?"

"Yea that's what you said but are you sure? He's good at hiding things and why did he suddenly stop. He wouldn't quit when I begged him to or when I told him I was going to leave if I caught him doing it again. He just fucking went and did it a few days later after all that." I throw my hands up in the air and sigh.

"But I do know he's not doing that anymore trust me. He went on a couple pretty bad benders after you left. He was all fucked up but then he knew that wasn't the answer and was never the answer. He went to Pattie for help and there was a lot of praying."

His phone rings, he pulls it out of his pocket and looks to see who it is. "I have to take this. I'll be right back." I nod and he walks over towards the bathroom before he answers it.

This is all such an uncomfortable mess. I wish things could just go back to the way they were. I miss my job, I miss everybody but most of all I miss Justin. He will never understand why I did what I did or why I wouldn't take his calls. If I could just come back to work and not have to worry about all this drama but I don't think that's even possible at this point. He will never understand that I feel like he just threw me away. I wasn't important enough for him to just stop. It hurt more than anything I've ever gone through and I never want to feel like that again. I'm snapped out of my thoughts and realize that tears are racing down my cheeks yet again when Fredo clears his throat. I hadn't even heard him come out of the bathroom.

"I'm sorry Fredo. I'm such a mess." I say trying to wipe away the tears that continue to fall.

He kneels down and puts a hand on my knee. "Don't apologize girl. I understand. How about we change the subject."

I nod "Yeah that sounds like a good idea."

'

A few hours later after making small talk about stupid things like movies, music and just random stuff, he starts to get serious again.

"So I have to ask because last time we talked the job search wasn't going too well or should I say you're just really picky and couldn't decide what you wanted to do...." He laughs a little and so do I. "Have you finally decided on anything?"