He Called Her Angel

Shattered Glass

I'm back. I have been really bad about updating...

By the time I got back from Spain I only had a month of summer, which of course I had to fill with sleepless nights and daytime adventures. By the time my junior year of high school started I was so busy I barley have had time to breathe since. From the 8-hour school days to 3+ hours of homework to having a job to being part of 5 clubs to studying for college testing to being part of a hip hop team and to having a social life I am surprised I haven't had a mental breakdown and dropped out of society. That is junior year for you.

I am sorry for my absence and to all the readers that have been waiting 5 months for me to update. I will do my best to update regularly from now on.

Here is what you have all been waiting for!

Chapter 29

Shattered Glass

When you were little if you fell they would ask you where it hurt. You would point to your knees, your arm, or an elbow and they would make it better, but then you noticed. As you got older, if you fall, they do not ask you where it hurts. You sit silently in your room waiting for someone to ask you where it hurts pointing to your head and your heart because that is where the pain hurts most, but nobody makes it better. Soon you realize the ones who kissed your booboos after you fell are the ones now pushing you down.

I set down my pencil to my journal utterly exhausted. I wouldn't be able to sleep though. All I can hear is shouting. My parents have been going at each other's throats sine 11 at night. It started with my dad bursting through the front door stating that this was his house too and that it was my moms turn to stay in a hotel. Of course this resulted in an argument filled with empty threats and jagged accusations. I remember when they got into a fight when I was little about how this man flirted with my mom. My dad was so jealous and they fought for hours, but then you could hear the love beneath the strangled screams. Now the voices I hear are vacant of love and laced with the pure hatred they have buried in the past years. Now that it has been dug up from its grave the skeleton on this emotion breathes life and comes with vengeance.

Even when the house became silent, doors slammed, and a car screeched away. I could still here the buzzing of tension in my ears keeping me awake and on edge. Watching my parents fall apart made me doubt everything else that could fall apart too. Why do we think love will fix us and make us whole if in the end it just leaves us more broken then before.

I tiptoed my way down the hall only to find my mom red eyed and staring at the TV. She wasn't absorbed in what she was watching, but she wasn't absorbed in the pain she felt either. She was just staring at different scenes on the TV, but too lost in her own mind to register anything. When I walked into the room her eyes flicked over to me. She didn't say anything. She just stared. I began to fidget under her desolate gaze.

"You need to choose soon." She said quietly.

"What do you mean?" I responded.

"You need to choose a side. The court hearing is coming up and you are 17 years old. They are going to have you decide who you want to live with." She said breathlessly.

"Why are you putting this pressure on me?" I said a little choked up.

"Look Cass, this isn't easy for anyone. We both fucked up and the least you can do is make a decision. You might as well go with your bastard of a father for all I care." She said with a pitch of irritation in her voice.

Her words hit me like a slap to the face. "What are you trying to say?" I whispered.

"I'm saying I don't care!" My mom said angrily. "Don't you see? I don't care anymore." "I don't care." She began to laugh silently to herself. "I don't care. Ahaha I don't care." She laughed hysterically.