FANGED

Chapter Seven

A deep clearing of a throat brought my attention away from the bodily functions of vampires and back to the impressive shitkickers standing before me. What size were those babies? Size 14? I would have made a crummy shoe salesman, but I could guess they were big and pointy. I followed the slope of the boot up to a leg clad in tight, black leather pants.

Or...at least I thought that was a leg. Judging by the size of it, there's a good possibility it could have been a tree trunk. But, beings there were two tree trunks standing side by side, I am sticking with my first presumption that they were indeed legs. Holy bat-wings! They were gargantuan. This person had a lifetime pass to 24 Hour Fitness and used it...frequently. Massive calves and thighs, bulged in protest to being incased like sausages. Suddenly, I had a hankering for Wienerschnitzel.

My upgraded 2.0 peepers continued the journey up the black brick road taking in the scenery as they tootled along. A tight white button down shirt was thanking Jesus as it hugged a huge flat plain of a chest. It was unbuttoned around a thick, muscly neck, but in a tasteful way and not the Vito sort of way. A hint of olive colored skin and a small tuft of dark hair greeted my gaze. The kind of chest hair that makes you want to twirl the teasing curl around your finger, not the kind that makes you think of Brillo Pads and Wookies.

His massive shoulders were covered in a long black trench coat...yup...leather. They guy was wearing a herd of cattle, but it was sexy as hell. He was colossal and I was getting a crick in my neck from just looking up at him. All that black leather magnified his size, but I am thinking even if he wore a Hello Kitty crop top and a pink tutu, he would still be giant enough to trip over a rock and knock his head against the moon.

For a moment, I wondered if he could do that titty dance most body builders seemed famous for and calculated how many one dollar bills I had in my possession. Before I could process the idea of making it rain, my ogling ran smack into his face. It was then my question of whether or not vampires peed, was answered.

He was burst your bladder gorgeous and I dropped my spoon shovel along with my jaw. His hair was long and black. Not Fabio long, but long enough to put into a ponytail, though I doubted he was the kind of guy who sported pigtails. His face must have been sculpted by the finest artisans. I would tell you who...if I could think of any, but at the moment, my mind was purely focused on his eyes.

They glowed. I don't mean in the romantic drivel kind of way. I mean they literally glowed as if they'd been plugged into an electrical outlet. Who needed a nightlight with this guy around? Those eyes of his looked like two winter icicles glinting in the noon day sun. If I hadn't already been sitting on my butt, the power from that megawatt glare would have dumped me on it in a heartbeat. If I had one...wait...I did have one! Either that or a rodent had scurried into my chest and was trying to break its way through. Whatever was in there, was pounding so hard it made me pant.

"There you are. I have been looking all over for you." His voice was deep. Davey Jones Locker kind of deep. I couldn't place the accent, but the way he gently rolled his "R's" made me weave as if I was about to start breaking out into a rousing chorus of Kumbaya.

Kneeling down, his leathers creaked in protest. Up close and personal, those eyes were a real killer. Yes...they were absolutely dazzling and he was totally melt your panties hot...but those eyes had darkness in them. I bet my next Mexican meal, he'd killed more than old ladies kitty cats.

"What is your name," that voice asked and a sigh escaped my lips.

I tried to think of something coy and flirty to say, but I seemed to have accidently swallowed my tongue. I blinked a couple of times in case my eyes were playing tricks on me, but nope...he was the most handsome man I had ever laid eyes on. Square jaw, high cheekbones, full lips, thick dark lashes and perfect eyebrows graced his carved face. I was immediately transported back to high school and started giggling like a hyena with a snoot full of nitrous oxide.