FANGED

Chapter Twenty-One

Hand in hand, Fang and I strolled up the cobbled stoned steps to the biggest set of wooden doors I had ever laid eyes on. These were straight up from castle Greystroke. Huge slabs of wood held together with iron hinges and sporting a set of great big round knockers. Yeah...you can giggle at that...I did. They were a little overkill in this day and age of the doorbell.

"Fee-fie-foe-fum," I muttered under my breath.

Fang gave me one of his patented pained expressions. Sighing heavily, I mimed zipping my lips shut. Satisfied that I was going to stay quiet, he turned to the door and grabbed hold of one of the gigantic rings and knocked on the door in three quick booming successions. The sound vibrating through the door, down into the stone and up my legs, making my knees knock together. Okay...so they weren't purely decorative.

Slowly, the great doors creaked open. Seriously? Nobody around here knew how to use a can of WD-40, I thought as I winced at the jaw jarring sound. But, I suppose, if you wanted a nice well rounded stereotype of a haunted house, then creaking doors are an absolute must.

Peeking around Fang, I thought I would finally get to see a version of Igor standing there in dirty rags and a hump. But, instead, a little old wrinkled man with white hair sticking up in every direction like a troll doll wearing a two toned livery outfit right out of the 1800's, stood hunched over with a wide grin and merrily snapping green eyes. He was adorable. I just wanted to pinch his saggy basset hound cheeks.

"Good evening, Master Drake. It is so good to see you again," he warbled in a squeaky British accent, absolutely pleased as punch.

Obviously, he was an immortal, but could he get any cuter? I swear, I could just pick him up and tuck him in my pocket.

"Good evening, Wilfred," Fang said, giving him a curt nod as he pulled me behind him and into a grand entrance hall.

The extravagant surrounding quickly nipped my desire to pocket Willy in the bud. Holy Moses on a pogo stick, this place was huge! I felt my jaw drop as I tried to take it all in. Elaborate woven rugs laid across highly polished wooden planked floors. Massive iron chandeliers with real candles burning, hung from the cathedral ceiling, reflecting the light on highly polished suits of armor and hanging various weapons and coats of arms.

A roaring fireplace big enough to park Gizmo in, raged on one side of the room with a stuffed bookcase on one side and grand piano on the other. In front of it was a bear skin rug. Its sightless eyes and snarling jaws looking ominous in the flicker of the firelight. The only furniture in the vast room, was one long benched table and a throne. Not one of those delicate gold filigree jobbies with a dainty velvet seat either.

This thing could have easily sat a family of Yetis with room left over. Carved out of dark wood and adorned with more gargoyles than Goliath had in his cartoon clan, it dominated the room. Garnishing either side were two life size, white marble statues. They must have been representations of some kind of vampire deity because they each had three arms.

While Fang talked to Willy in hushed tones, I strolled over to the statues. Each had a beautifully carved face and were looking down at the throne with complete admiration. Their lips pulled back revealing long fangs, gave their expressions an orgasmic quality. Yeah...that was kind of disturbing. Imagine having that staring down at you all day.

Pulling my eyes away from their simpering smiles, I walked up closer to inspect one of them a bit closer. My perusal was greeted with a nice carved, broad chest and impressive abs. Not quite up to snuff to Fang's, but not too shabby. But then, my eyeballs popped out of my head. Well, not literally, but dammit...dang close.

That was no third arm! That was the biggest...

"Mel."

Most gigantic...