The Melon-Head Boy -a Simdil fanfiction-

Chapter Twenty three: Empty

-Martin's POV-

515 ---- ---- Simon

I'm sorry
23:16

Please, Martin
23:17

I'm so sorry
23:17

...
23:21

I love you, please Martin
23:34

I didn't mean for it to happen
23:35

I needed to figure myself out
23:37

I was confused
23:37

...I needed someone
23:41

I'm so stupid
23:57

She meant nothing
23:59

I love you
00:06

Please
00:17

Goodnight, Martin
01:17 

I didn't sleep that night. At five A.M, my eyes were dry and even though I wanted to, no tears came. The tears stopped by three A.M. I want to scream but I won't. I want to forgive him, but I don't know how. I love him... Or I used to.

I drive to school, hair undone, wearing the black t-shirt I slept in and unwashed jeans. I feel everyone staring at me. I hold my bag lazily and walk to my locker ignoring eveyone. I'm a mess.

In the corner of my eye, I recognize the light brown hair of the reason of my misery. I feel his eyes drilling into me as I grab my biology books. I almost slam my locker shut, but i stop it and close it quietly.

Walking towards my class, an orange shirt appear beside me. I don't know what to do. Even though I don't know what I feel about him, I linger for his touch. I walk faster, hearing the shorter boys' steps speed up after me. I finally reach the classroom and sit down at the back. Simon doesn't follow me, but sits at the back a couple of seats on my right. I open my book and the teacher walks in, looking 100% excited to teach while everyone else is practically sleeping.

"Yes, today kids, we're going to do take a pause from our plant-experiment and talk about us. You're all soon going to be adults and you might feel like you're not ready to get out there. You might still wonder who you are, both psycically and mentally. You might still experience puberty and... you might start liking other genders," she says. Of fucking course we're going to talk about this. Great. "And that is okay. You can't choose who you like, everyone has their preferences. So today, we're going to talk about sexualities. You maybe already know who you like, but if you don't, that doesn't make you any less special. Maybe you know what you like, but it changes" I feel his eyes staring at me. "And might make you think you're... weird or un-normal. But you're not. Many people in your ages experiences to figure this out, wich often helps." This makes me raise my hand, looking up from my book. She looks surprised, but smiles and Points at me. "Yes, Martin?"

"But that doesn't make it okay to cheat if you're dating someone, right?" I say, seeing Simon look down at his book.

"Well, no, of course not... But it's not their fault if they don't know what or who they are," she says and Simon looks up again. "But they should of course talk to their partner about this so they know that they are going through this." she finishes. She keeps talking but my mind sets on my book again. I have a lot of drawing in here, some good and some horrible. I've subconsiously started to draw a new picture and I look down at my half-done creation. It's the roses I bought for Simon, laying spread out on the pavement, dirty and stomped on.

The tears that wouldn't spill earlier comes out. Silent, streaming tears. I raise my hand again and say with unsteady voice,

"I need to go to the bathr-oom" and walk out of the classroom. It's a release to cry. My mind goes blank and I find myself sitting in one of the boys' bathroom stalls with my arms wrapped around my legs, sobbing.

I quiet myself as footsteps come near the stall. Was the person here all along?

Please don't be Simon, please don't be Simon, please BE Simon, Please don't, please do, please don't be Simon.

Of course it's Simon. I recognize the shoes standing outside my stall. He knocks on the stall door, a quiet voice saying,

"Martin, please open up" the voice of him makes me let out a sob. "Martin." My body works against itself, not knowing what to do. Don't forgive him, don't forgive him, don't forgive him, forgive him? don't forgive him, don't forgive him, don't forgive him. "Martin" And I rip open the door.

There he stands. The reason of my misery and happiness. The one who woke up but also put down my heart. I want to kiss him and forgive him, but at the same time I want to shut the door closed again and shut him out. I can't. I don't want to get hurt again, but I know that if... If I forgive him my current hurt will go away.

We stare at heart other. My eyes must be red from crying. No one says anything. he looks so guilty, ashamed. His body expression has changed, making him look small and insecure. Even though this, he's Beautiful. He narrows his eyes, slowly reaches up and kisses me. At the same as my mind goes blank, it explodes into a million thoughts.

I don't know what to do.

(A/N: Hope you forgive me for not writing a lot.

Did you like this chapter? :) If you have any ideas of what you want to happen, feel free to message me about it or comment.

Ttyl!

/Elo xx)