Squirrelflight & Brambleclaw

I hate this part (3)

The morning sun filtered through the den as Squirrelflight stretched, ready to start a new day in the clan. "Morning Squirrelflight, the dawn patrol just gone out," Lionblaze said, licking his fur. "Thanks for informing me, I think I want you to lead a hunting patrol since prey is getting scarce nowadays," Squirrelflight said, "Bring Brightheart and Dovewing along with you." Lionblaze nodded and moved out the den. Just then, Bramblestar poked his head into the warrior's den, "Hey Squirrelflight, I need to talk to you for awhile. Mind going for a short walk with me?" asked Bramblestar, his eyes hopeful and wide. Squirrelflight strained as she forced a smile, "Of course I don't mind. Anytime you're ready," she moved out the den, careful to keep the distance between her and Bramblestar. They both moved out of the camp. "I also have something to tell you, but I'll wait until you're done," Squirrelflight gulped as she thought of what she had decided to tell him the night before. Bramblestar pricked his ears and looked at her, a questioning look on his face but he kept quiet. He waited until they were far away from the camp before sitting down. "Squirrelflight, I have to tell you that I......I don't like what's going on between us lately," he finished hastily. She cocked her head to one side, "What has been going on exactly Bramblestar?" He looked down onto the ground and shuffled his paws, "The strained conversation, the stiffness and awkwardness of the situation with Jessie." Squirrelflight breathed in deeply to keep herself from yowling at him, that it was him who didn't clear things and left her wondering. "I can't not strain the conversation Bramblestar. Do you know how much it hurts to see you and Jessie together?!" There! She had confessed, now it was his turn. But he didn't seem to take the cue, as Squirrelflight suspected. "Just try to bear with it for awhile, she's only going to be here for a short while...... I think," Bramblestar said, his paw reaching out to hers. But she pulled back. 

  I know you'll ask me to hold on, and carry on like nothing is wrong  

"She'll soon be gone and we can carry on as normal," Bramblestar attempted to use a cheerful voice but Squirrelflight wasn't taken in, she was so tired of pretending she didn't care. "Until when Bramblestar? Until she comes back another time and I have to pretend again?!"  Squirrelflight hissed, then shook her head sadly, "No Bramblestar. It doesn't work this way, you and I both know that. I was always second to you once she came."  Bramblestar tried to protest, but Squirrelflight saw guilt scrawled across his handsome tabby face. She looked away, "You still do love me. But you love her more. Isn't that the truth?" She looked back at him again and she saw then, in his amber eyes that were conflicted, what she had feared for the most- the truth that he loved Jessie more than her. 

 But there is no more time for lies, cause I see sun set in your eyes  

"I'm sorry Squirrelflight......" Bramblestar started but Squirrelflight gently laid her tail across his jaws. "Don't be, I was the one who messed everything up," she smiled a bittersweet smile at him. 

 

Thought that we were stronger, all we do is linger, slipping through our fingers
I don't want to try now, all that's left is goodbye to, find a way that I can tell you

"I...." Squirrelflight started but Bramblestar silenced her by nuzzling her face. Squirrelflight forced herself to stay still though she did relish his affection, she had to tell him. Though she wished that she wanted this moment to last forever, she knew that reality and the dreams of her youth were two separate things and in the real world, Bramblestar will still belong to Jessie. 

But I gotta do this
I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I hate this part

"Bramblestar....."

"Yes, Squirrelflight?"

I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I gotta do it

"This is the end of us." Squirrelflight pulled away, her head hung low, it hurts her to tell him this but she had no choice. Surprise and grief flitted across his face, "Squirrelflight......" "I cannot stand you choosing between me and Jessie all the time.  I can't go on like this any longer. If I want to be loved, I want to be the only one," she choked the words out, "You belong with Jessie." Bramblestar remained silent, his eyes watchful and his face mask of coolness though Squirrelflight felt his hurt cutting in her heart along with hers. "I'm sorry." She turned away and, limbs as heavy as lead, walked away, away from the Bramblestar, her love and her dream. And what could've been a happily ever after- once upon a time. 

I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take these tears
I hate this part right here