Squirrelflight & Brambleclaw

Better In Time (3)

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time

The thoughts about Bramblestar and what they used to be kept running through her head as she hunted through the forest, but this time, each thought of him brought her a stronger resolve to get over him. He deserved to be out of her life, she deserved the freedom. She knew that with time, it was possible to forget.....and forgive, in his case.

And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to

She smiled as she saw Greenfern accidentally step into a puddle and shook his paws angrily to clear make his paws dry again. But that smile faded as she saw Bramblestar stalk past her, shooting her a look that said "Get back hunting." She turned away, hurt, but was comforted by her earlier thoughts.

It'll all get better in time

But just as she was turning away, she realized that Bramblestar had always shot her mean looks but he never ever realized how much he had hurt her in the past and present by being with Jessie. Sure,the cause of it was her fault but both were to blame, especially once they had decided to try again after Jessie had left. He had wanted to be with her- only after Jessie had left. Suddenly filled with anger as she realized the unfairness of it all, she decided to make Bramblestar realize just now what she thought of him. She whirled back to where he was still behind her and looking at her coldly and shot him a look full of burning fire that spoke of her anger at him. In that one look, she had told him that she had clearly stated her current status, she was no longer the shell of what she used to be with him around and she WILL stand her own ground from now on and WILL NOT get pushed around by him. That piece of mouse dung.

Since there's no more you and me

Proud of herself, and of the exhilaration that came with turning away and stalking off, tail high in the air. She had finally started to let him go, that was the first indication of the many that were to come.

It's time I let you go

So I can be free

She heaved a sigh of relief, she was no longer trapped by his dark gaze. Granted, there were times where she still would be trapped, he would always be a part of her, but she could, with time, bury that with the rest of the painful memories and finally move on.

And live my life how it should be

She would be a great deputy for the clan, she will be. She owed the clan that, at least. After all she'd done. And she would make things right at last, even though it will be hard, but she will make it through.

No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you

Things were looking bright for once. She smiled.

Yes I will

*****

They returned back to camp and Squirrelflight spotted Leafpool sitting outside her medicine den. She dropped her freshkill on the freshkill pile and padded over to her, "Want to eat?" Leafpool who was lost in her thoughts jumped before seeing that it was Squirrelflight. "Oh, eat? Yes, I'm a bit hungry actually," Leafpool nodded, as soft spoken as ever. They both made their way to the fresh kill pile and chose mice to eat. After a moment of silence, Leafpool turned to Squirrelflight, a worried look in her eyes, "How are you and Bramblestar?" Squirrelflight was caught by surprise, and tried to cover it up by asking, "What's the matter, it no longer concerns you Leafpool. You needn't worry anymore," she made it sound convincing and put her paw over Leafpool's. Leafpool drew away, "You know you can't fool me. You never could, and.....and it's my fault everything happened this way. I'm sorry, I still regret what I made you do. I caused you to lose your mate," she looked away, her head down. Squirrelflight hesitated, it was true, but Leafpool was her sister, she will never turn her back on her. She couldn't. "I know you do. But we cannot do anything about it anymore, all we can do is to move on. Bramblestar is....." Her mind ran through what she would say to Leafpool.

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time

She took a deep breath and said slowly, "Bramblestar meant everything to me and I used to think he was my world. I am still recovering from us, if you get what I mean. But I'll be fine, time will slowly help me let him go. I don't regret raising those kits Leafpool, and I never will," Squirrelflight said softly. Even though she loved Bramblestar so much her heart ached, it was time to let him go.

And even though I really love you

Leafpool pricked up her ears and that and gave Squirrelflight a comforting lick on the ear, "Thank you Squirrelflight. I cannot ever repay what you did." Squirrelflight gave her a small smile and shook her head, "There was nothing to repay."

I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to

Leafpool just put her tail comfortingly over her shoulder and said, "Time will heal. As a medicine cat, I can verify that." Squirrelflight believed her.

It'll all get better in time