Squirrelflight & Brambleclaw

Bramblestar

The song used is by Stevie Hoang, called : I'm missing you 

Bramblestar saw Squirrelflight and Greenfern pad away from the camp, tails intertwined, and he felt as if someone had gave him a flying kick to his belly. It was not a pleasant feeling, and it hurt. Irritated and angry that he still would be affected by Squirrelflight even if their relationship was a distant memory, he grunted. She was a good deputy, he could give her that. Grunting, he made his way back to his own den, wanting to get some rest as he did not sleep the whole night yesterday as he was overseeing the building of a bigger apprentice den. He laid his head on his paws and try as he might, he couldn't go to sleep- for he couldn't get rid of the image of Greenfern's tail intertwined with Squirrelflight's. Mousedung! 

But deep down, he knew that he did mind Greenfern being there with Squirrelflight. He did mind her paying attention to him. He did mind watching them being close. He did mind...... "Oh what's the point!" Bramblestar thought to himself, he had let her go and he had been happy about it- until Greenfern appeared into the picture. He didn't realize before but now he did. He missed Squirrelflight.

Love is just a crazy game
You never know what it can bring

Love was indeed crazy, he had ignored Squirrelflight at the beginning, her rejection hard on his pride but he did not mind, he had Jessie and she was beautiful and young and altogether charming. But as moons went on, he had developed a longing for Squirrelflight, he missed her closeness and advice, her brilliant green eyes.....he used to get lost in them. These fluctuations of his emotions were very confusing for him and he had a hard time trying to figure it out, he did not want to be with Squirrelflight, yet he missed her. He loved Jessie though, yet he wasn't completely truthful with her. 

So if you have someone
Tell em that you love em
Never ever let it end

Angry with his jumbled thoughts, he paced around in his den, he really shouldn't be confused about this. Jessie was his, it was that simple! He was determind to tell any warrior that came asking about any advice about love to stick with who their heart was really with and tell them that they love them everyday and keep fighting till the end, no matter what happened. He didn't want them to end up like him, torn between his feelings. It was exasperating. He snorted, he should've follow the advice he was going to be giving to his warriors for if he had did that earlier, he would still be with Squirrelflight and not in love with Jessie. Not that he minded being with Jessie, he did love her, but then he wouldn't have been in this predicament now would he? He hated being confused. If he had only fought for Squirrelflight earlier......be with her through thick and thin, she probably wouldn't have gone to Greenfern. Jealousy gnawed at him. 

Cause you don't know what you really got
Until it's just much too late
So cherish every moment that you spend with em
Promise not to let them go...

He bit his lip. He should be happy for the both of them, for he got his happily ever after, why shouldn't she too? He had let a good she cat slip away, the strong and brilliant Squirrelflight that he'd known since she was an apprentice and he a newly appointed warrior. She had captured his heart with her courage and loyalty in their journey to find Midnight and he fell deeply in love then, she was his first love. 

Cause girl you had my heart
Right from the very start

He wanted to talk to Squirrelflight badly but yet something was holding him back, he wasn't sure whether it was because he didn't want to ruin her relationship with Greenfern where she looked so happy or because he feared her contempt. 

But still you gotta know  

He sighed, he didn't know why, but he felt that he really wanted Squirrelflight to know what his feelings were currently, he needed her advice and support. He hissed to himself, Squirrelflight most certainly wouldn't be the cat to talk to, she would be clouded with her own feelings towards him. Feelings as in anger and bitterness.

Even though I told myself that I moved on

Deep down I keep on holding on

He whiskers twitched in irritation, he had told himself he had moved on. But somewhere down the road to recovery, he still realized his feelings for Squirrelflight did not change, it still remained the same, even if the both of them changed. Why was he even thinking about this? He was going crazy.  

It's crazy but true
Girl I'm missing you

 He missed Squirrelflight, no doubt about it. He missed breathing in her scent every morning and having her comforting presence around him. 

And although I'm with somebody else
Girl I can't keep lying to myself

He hated that Squirrelflight still clung to him like a burr that he could not remove from his fur. Maybe he should see Jayfeather? Was there a cure for this? He pushed that thought away, he was being ridiculous- all because he was afraid of what he knew was true.

And no matter what I gotta face the truth
She just ain't you
She just ain't you...

Jessie wasn't Squirrelfight. No green eyes met his in the morning as he woke up like it used to, no bushy tail that seems to wrap him in one embrace whenever the tail laid across his shoulders. He forced himself to stop thinking about the past, he loved Jessie now. Just as he should.