Adopted By The Sidemen (Sidemen Fanfiction)

Chapter 18

The next day at school was perfect. Well, just about. Karmyn showed me around and everything went smoothly with the actual school work. One thing was bad. Lucille had heard about my amnesia and started to bully again. I saw her in the hall, yelling at some girl to go kill herself. That made me extremely pissed off. "What do you think you're doing?" I yelled in her face, stepping in between her and the girl. I was much taller than Lucille and I intimidated her. "What does it look like? I'm telling this girl to go die because that's what she deserves to do. Just like you and your little tag along. I would highly suggest you don't fuck with me because I will make your life a living hell." She whispered coldly at me. "I have beat your ass once, and I'm not afraid to do it again. If I see you bullying anyone else, it will happen. I honestly don't give a shit if you bully me, just no body else." I said just as harsh as she had. "Fine. I guess you'll be my new bitch." She said with a smirk. "Go fuck yourself." I said with an eye roll. "Go kill yourself." She said flatly. I'm not going to lie, it hurt. Damn did it hurt. I didn't show anything though. I was emotionless. "Get to class girls." A calm voice said behind me. I didn't look at anything but the floor and went to class. What have I done? I had just given her an invitation to bully me. Well, at least she won't ruin anyone else's life.

I was now sat at my desk editing a GTA video I had just recorded with the guys. I heard a knock at my door and heard it open. "Hey." It was Simon. I sighed, knowing he would want to talk about my day at school. "I don't want to talk about school, if that's what you're thinking." He said, interrupting my thoughts. "Then what's up?" I asked as I turned to look at him. "I was wondering if you would want to re-do our date." He said as he scratched the back if his neck. "Sure." I said as I smiled. He shut the door and sat down on my bed. "Spill." He said. "About?" I asked and waited for him to continue. "Why don't you want to talk about school?" He asked in a concerned voice. I turned my chair back around to face my computer screen. "Lucille." I said in a shaky voice. "What did she do?" He asked. "I wanted to beat her ass. I should've actually. I fucked up, Simon. I fucked up big time." I said, now feeling all the regret set in. "What did you do?" He asked as he spun my chair around so I had to face him. "I-I was in the hall. I saw her telling this girl to go kill h-herself. I stepped in and told her I wasn't afraid to beat her ass again. I told her I would rather be the one to get bullied than other innocent people." I said shakily, choking back tears. "So you just invited her to bully you so other people wouldn't get bullied?" He asked. I nodded and looked up in his beautiful eyes. "That's a good thing to do. All you have to do is ignore her. She's just a bitch anyways." He said. "It's not that easy. All she's doing is reminding me of what everyone else has said to me my entire life." I said as I sniffled. "Come here." He said as he held out his arms. I was swallowed in the best hug ever. "I love you. The guys love you. Cal loves you. Your subscribers love you. Karmyn loves you. So many people love you. Those people who said those mean things shouldn't matter. I know they do, but they shouldn't. Try to ignore her? For me?" He whispered in my ear. I nodded into his chest. Man, I love him so much. "I've got to go shower." I said as I pulled away from the hug. "Alright. We're having pizza for dinner I think." He said as he stood up. "As always." I said. He smiled and walked out. Guess I have to shower now.

The whole time if was showering, what Lucille said kept echoing in my head. That and along with everyone else's mean comments. While I was in the orphanage I was bullied. Before I was there, I was bullied at my school. My whole life, I have been bullied. It gets old really fast. I always feel bad about myself just because of what they say. I wiped a tear that had fallen out of my eye as I stared at the razor I had been staring at for the past five minutes or so. I looked at my arm an my thighs. What harm could one more do? I asked myself as I picked up the blade and stared at it. That's when I remembered the conversation I had with Simon. He told me to never fucking do it again. But he wouldn't find out. Would he? I bit my lip as I thought over the decisions. The only reason not to cut was because if they found out, I'm screwed. There were so many reasons to cut that it kind of overruled that one reason not to. But I knew if they did find out, they would be devastated and so disappointed in me. I stared harder at the blade, picturing it slicing across my skin. Swiftly and easily. It brought me a sense of longing. I really wanted to. So I did. I stared at my left wrist and looked at the many lines. Let's add one more. I thought as I sliced my skin. As the blood dropped and my skin burned, I smiled. It was so relieving. I bled for a bit and cleaned up. I put on a hoodie to sleep in, just in case. I walked out of the bathroom nervously. "Hey. Pizza's downstairs if you want." Simon said as he walked out of his room and I walked into mine. "Okay. I-I'll be down in a second." I said as I walked in my room. I grabbed my phone and slipped it into the big pocket of the hoodie. I slowly began to walk downstairs. I was worried they would ask questions. They were always the curious type of people. "Hey!" Josh yelled at me, springing me back into reality. He waved his hand in front if my face. "Huh? I was thinking...." I said as I let my voice trail off. I put a slice of pizza on my plate and sat down next to Simon and Vik. "How was your day at school?" Vik asked me. I looked at Simon and quickly looked away. He was staring at me already. "It-it was good." I said with a shrug. "Well, you didn't beat anyone, so it's a start." Josh said, trying to lighten the mood. I forced a smile. Wow. I had never had to do that with these guys. Maybe it was back. I don't want it back. I really don't. With my bipolar disorder, the it is depression. It comes and goes. Sometimes it lingers longer than other times. Sometimes it's only here for a few days and then it leaves. I feel the majority of my time in the orphanage, it was paying me a visit. Always telling me that I wasn't good enough and that I'll never be. Telling me everything that's wrong with me. Just being such a depressant. "I was thinking about maybe recording later guys." Simon said, wanting to change the subject. "Yeah. We could record some Cards Against Humanity." Vik said excitedly. "I'm down." Josh said with a nod. "Want to join, Mackenzie?" Simon asked me. "I would, but I have to go to school tomorrow so I have to actually sleep. Unless someone wants to let me skip." I said looking at Josh. He shook his head and swallowed his mouthful of pizza. "You can't just skip school." He said. "And why is that?" I asked taking a bite. "You have to go to school." I sighed. "Fine....Dad." I said putting emphasis on 'Dad'. He just shook his head. "I wish you were one of those really awesome parents that just doesn't give a shit." Vik said randomly. "Me too!" Simon agreed. "See? They want me to skip!" I said, protesting. "You're going to school." Josh said pointing a finger at me. "You owe me." I said. "What do I owe you?" He asked, leaning forward. "Nandos tomorrow." I said. "I can do that." He said with a small nod. "At lunchtime." I said with small hope. "No! After school! For dinner! We can invite Cal and Karmyn too." He said. I thought about it for a few minutes while I ate. "Do you like Karmyn or simething?" I asked Josh. Vik and Simon stared at me along with Josh. "Why is everyone staring at me?" I asked, getting self-conscious. "Duh he likes her!" Simon said loudly. "Dude, calm down." Vik said, rubbing his ear dramatically. I got up and took my plate to the sink. "I guess it's time for me to go to bed since I have to go to school and Nandos tomorrow." I said, winking at Josh. "Goodnight then." Josh said. "Night!" Vik and Simon said in unison. I waved a little at them and went up the stairs slowly. I soon reached my door an went into my room. I put my phone on charge and curled into bed. I stared at my fresh cut before I went to sleep. When I did go to sleep, I had the best dream ever. It was a dream about Simon and I. Falling in love and living happily ever after, you know, the cliché stuff that everyone dreams about.