If I was Invisible..

The Note

It was long past dark by the time Edd stumbled his way home, sore and filthy from spending the better half of the day on the forest floor. Exhausted, he dragged his bruised and aching body into a wonderfully hot shower, letting the water soothe his muscles and scald the dirt and grime from his skin. He sat there in the stream for the better part of fifteen minutes before finally mustering up the will to wash himself. Sharp, stinging pains told him he had cuts all over his legs from his trek home, and he was careful to avoid his arm altogether, the large gash from where he dropped the knife still quite fresh on his pale skin. 

Finally clean, Edd dried himself quickly and landed in his bed with a groan. Just as he felt himself nearing a point of relaxation, his mind began to wander to the events of the morning. Fearing another breakdown, Edd grabbed a small, leather bound book  from off of his nightstand. It was a deep burgundy in color, with his name stamped elegantly across the front in silver lettering. He flipped open to the next blank page, neatly printed the date and time in the top corner, and began to write, spilling out whatever words he could put forth to distract his mind.

Kevin Had spent the rest of the day locked in his garage, trying to find solace in the one thing that had always brought him comfort; his motorcycle. Even dismembered, the bits of metal and plastic still brought him some measure of comfort. It was well past midnight when he finally dragged himself to his room, deciding he should try and get at least some sleep for school tomorrow. 

The next morning passed fairly uneventfully, Kevin's sleep-deprived state silencing any questions his team may have had about his disappearance the previous day, and no sign of Eddy to cause Edd any further grief. All seemed to be going fairly smoothly.

That is, until Algebra. the last class of the day. 

Kevin was seated and well into the day's lesson long before Double D sulked through the lab door. Kevin shot a glance in Edd's direction as he settled into the seat across from him. He could tell the raven-haired boy hadn't gotten much sleep either...

Probably up with Eddy all night..

Kevin gritted his teeth at that thought. He could feel the sharp pang of longing biting at his chest again. He reached for his MP3, shuffling through to find a song to distract himself, glancing over the screen to watch Edd every few seconds. 

Edd could think of so many places he'd rather be right now that sitting across from the fuming ginger. He fumbled in his bag, trying to pull out his textbook and notes. He was so distracted trying to calm himself that he didn't even notice his leather journal slide out onto the ground near Kevin's feet.

Kevin felt something hit his shoe. He peeked down under the table to see a leather journal had slipped out of Edd's backpack. He could see Edd was struggling, probably still embarrassed about being caught, and he decided not to bring up the journal. instead, he just grabbed the daily work list that Double D's shaky hands offered, hit the play button on his MP3 a little too violently. 

  Follow your bliss, it reads on my chest.
I know I got it tattooed for a reason.
Why can't I just hold it true?
'Cause I'm still crashing all the funerals

Of these people that I never knew  

Kevin allowed himself to get lost in the song, doing his best to ignore the pained glances Edd kept throwing his way.

  I'm stuck in a coma, stuck in a never-ending sleep.
And some day I will wake up and realize I made up everything.  

Edd couldn't stop looking at Kevin. He couldn't stop thinking about yesterday. Did Kevin actually care about him? Or was he just upset to see him with Eddy?

Double D needed to know. It was tearing him apart. 

  I shut the door and turn all the lights out.
And listen to all the songs that the night shouts.
They go something just like this...
So go fill up a glass with tonic rocks and gin
and drink yourself to happiness.....  

Kevin lost track of his music, letting one song fade into another while his forced all his focus into his work. He didn't even notice when the bell rang, until he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. 

At the sound of the bell Double D stood slowly, shoving his things carelessly back into his satchel. he turned and walked quickly toward the door, glancing back at Kevin one last time. 

Kevin looked up just in time to see Double D glance back at him before disappearing out the door into the other classroom. 

Was.... was he crying? 

He shoveled his books back into his backpack and stood to leave, and he felt himself kick something out from under the table. He stooped to pick up the journal, turning it so he could see the beautiful lettering on the front. 

Edd's journal. He must be out of sorts if he didn't even know it was missing. 

A silver ribbon stuck out about an inch beneath the bottom of it, a bookmark the keep his page. Curious, Kevin gingerly opened the book to the marked page. 

The first thing he saw was a time and date, printed neatly in the top left-hand corner of the page. 

Huh,Sockhead wrote this last night. Maybe that's why he looked  so tired. I wonder what was so important that it kept him up so late....

The writing was somewhat sloppy, as if it was written hastily, but the bold words were all too clear. Kevin felt his heart fall through the floor. Some deep level of fear seized him as he read the words Edd had been so desperate to write so late the previous night.

It was a poem. No title, no description, just a few verses on the paper. 

Consider this my letter.

Consider this my note. 

Consider this an apology,

for all the tings I could never be.

Consider this my goodbye, 

I'm sorry for the bad times. 

Consider this my letter. 

Consider this my note. 

Know that I never meant to hurt you,

In all that we've been through.

Consider this my way of moving on.

I know you'll find a way to be strong.

So consider this my letter. 

And consider this my note.