Abuse?

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So I just watched this video about domestic abuse

and at the end, it was all like “when your child witnesses abuse they get fucked up” (basically)

and the taste of a cookie came into my mouth

with a memory

there I was at the kitchen table

maybe 5 or 6 years old

there I was eating a cookie and drinking milk

And just in front of me, my father and my mother were speaking

No

His voice was much louder

She was crying

He looked like he was yelling at her and making her feel terrible

About what I don’t know

I can’t remember

It was all “adult stuff” anyway

Too advanced for me to have understood

I don’t remember if he hit her

He left her standing there crying

And as he walked out of the room he turned to me and said angrily

“I hope you’re enjoying your cookie”

And then I felt part of what she was feeling

Did I do something wrong in eating the food I was given?

Was I supposed to wait?

Was I supposed to share it?

Am I supposed to stare at my crying mother and pretend like I can’t see her?

Well, I hope so

Because that’s what I did.

And I remember she looked at me with a stare that begged for help

But I didn’t know what to do.

So I sat there pretending I didn’t exist so that she’d eventually leave.

And there I was again alone with my cookie.

The end. 

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