Crush

Part 13

Ryan's p.o.v. -
I was able to overhear what the doctor told Nikki's mom and gasped when I heard this "She's partially paralyzed but it may only be temporary.  The good news is she is alive and awake."

I so wanted to run into her recovery room to tell her I loved her but decided to talk let her to her mom first.

Once she came out I was able to go to see her.

I looked into her eyes and said "It doesn't matter that you can't walk.  I'm never going to stop loving you.  I will be here a couple more days but then I have to go back."

Nikki's eyes filled with tears "I love you!  I can't do anything for a while though.  I wanted to keep active with you."

I held her hand and said "When you're better we can.  I realize it's different than breaking my hand but it did slow me down."

Nikki looked down in sadness without saying a word.  Her facial expression was that of someone who didn't matter and was worthless.  I didn't feel that way about her.  Not in the slightest.

I said "Look into my eyes.  I love you!  Nothing will stop me.  Not paralysis, not a broken bone, not you being a virgin, not a damn thing.  You are a diamond.  You're worth more than you think.  Even with this hindrance in your life."

Nikki looked in my eyes as I spoke those words feeling such a deep pain I wasn't sure if what I was saying to her was getting through.

My eyes locked with hers and I swear we spoke with no words.

When I tried to kiss her she groaned in pain because the part of her that wasn't paralyzed felt intense pain.

During the other days I was visiting my girlfriend I tried my best to keep her from losing it because she couldn't do anything but honestly it didn't seem like it was working.

Before I left I kissed her hand and said "Please take care of yourself and talk to me when you're feeling down. I love you! I'll see you again as soon as I can. Bye baby."

Nikki cried as I was leaving "Okay! I'll miss you. I love you! Bye baby!"

On my way home I sat there on the plane thinking about Nikki and seriously wanted her to be near me. I wanted her in Los Angeles with me so Mike could help her. I hated seeing anyone in pain such as she was. My heart hurt so much knowing she was unable to walk or move.

I couldn't possibly think of her being alone at all. I didn't want her alone. She was too special for the loneliness to set in and cause her to get so depressed I'd never see her again.

The last thing I wanted was for her to become so depressed she would consider committing suicide.  I didn't always pray but in this case I just hoped with all my heart that God would help her become at peace so she would want to live and become motivated.