Taehyung - Regrets

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25th December 2014

It has been a year and day by day, I am still here waiting for you. Hoping for you to appear right infront of me, telling me all these were a lie. A big cruel f*cking lie. Tell me they weren't real. Tell me we are still in our wonderland that belongs to only you and me. If only someone would invent a time machine, so I could rewind time to see you for the last time.

I wouldn't make the same mistake again if I could turn back time. It was all my fault, a mistake that can never be forgiven.


25th December 2013

It's Christmas - a happy and meaningful occasion for everyone, except us.. We are quarreling again, over such small things. I just don't understand her even if I put myself in her shoes. All she did was nagging and always questioning where I am.

Is her trust for me that little? I am busy and it was all for this family that I love so much. I've been working from day to night, working diligently so I could support her and the 4 month old baby in her womb.

"Why are we quarreling about this again?" I asked her, feeling my blood starting to boil. "Answer my question, are you cheating on me?" she replied, ignoring my question. I pulled my hair in frustration. "For the umpteenth time, no I am not. Why do you not trust me, Yeri? Do you have that little trust in me?" I questioned her. "Then why do you have woman's perfume smell all over your body? Can you explain that?" she yelled.

"What? Can you be reasonable? I have work, I need to entertain those stupid bosses everyday so they would agree on the contract, that's all. It's all for this family and you just don't understand me, do you? All you do everyday is just nagging and complaining, what else can you do?" I argued back, thinking that I am winning this argument. Tears formed in her brown pair of eyes and she was biting her lips so hard to not let those tears fall. Until then, I realised I've been too harsh on her.

Those words I've said can never be taken back.

She blinked and those tears fell from her beautiful eyes that I would praised everyday in the past. "Honey, I'm sorry.. I didn't me-" "Enough! Since I am that annoying, I will leave, happy?" She shouted before stomping off to the bedroom. I sighed and face-palmed myself for the trouble I have created. I followed her to the bedroom, she was shoving all her clothes into a luggage. "Honey, don't be like this, I'm sorry. You're pregnant, you shouldn't be going anywhere. It's all my fault, I'm sorry." I apologised over and over again.

Ignoring me, she continued packing the luggage. Unlocking the wooden door, she dragged the luggage out. "Come on honey, don't do this. I'm really sorry. Give me one more chance, please!" I begged. Still ignoring me, she dragged the luggage into the lift and the door shut, right in my face. She didn't look at me at all. I leaned against the wall, sliding down and my head was in between my knees. Unknowingly, I was sobbing.

I realised just how much she stands in my heart, how important she is to me. I need her, the love of my life. How can I blame her for her temper when she is pregnant? I am so stupid. I spammed the lift button as if it would help.

Once the lift reached the ground level, I dashed out and ran around looking for her. It was raining that day, just like how I was feeling inside. Many things were going through my mind right then, I was feeling so lost. Where is she? Where exactly is she?! I ran in the rain, heck caring if I was drenched.

"Yeri! Where are you?! Honey!" I was shouting at the top of my lungs. I had a hard time opening my eyes as the rain started pouring harder than before. But still, I continued looking for her. Regretting wearing just slippers and thin clothing, I was freezing. I was about to lose hope when I saw Yeri placing her luggage into the boot of a taxi. "Yeri! Stop where you are!" I yelled and ran towards where she was. She saw me, I'm very sure she saw me before getting onto that taxi. I did not give up, I chased the taxi with all my might. It may sound impossible but I really did chased after the taxi. The taxi increased its speed and so, I ran faster but the most unexpected thing happened. "Yah Lee Yeri!" I shouted as if she could hear me.

A loud honking sound and crash, the taxi collided with a lorry.

I looked away with my right hand covering my face and I fell onto the floor because of the impact. "Ah.." I groaned in pain, straightening my back. My vision was blur at that time. I rubbed my eyes and understood the current situation. I quickly got up and ran but was fallen onto the ground again on the first step. My ankle was sprained. Regardless, I tried to ran again even if it hurts. The lorry had crashed onto the right side of the taxi, sticking on it like a bubblegum was between them. I opened the door of the taxi and found Yeri with her head bleeding, blood dripping from her forehead to her cheeks. "Honey, answer me!" I called out but to no avail. "Yeri! Wake up! Stop sleeping! Quick! Yeobo!" I continued shouting.

I looked down and saw blood on her thigh - our baby..

"Honey! You have to wake up now! You hear me?! Wake up!!" I started sobbing again while shouting. I knew I had lost my chance of having her back. I rested my forehead on her shoulder, sobbing loudly. "I'm sorry.. It's my fault.. Honey, I beg you please.. come back to me.. don't go.. Please honey.." I cried. I looked up and her eyes were still shut. I hugged her close to me, tightly. "I'm really sorry, it's all my fault.. Come back.." I cried desperately.

But deep in my heart, I knew it was all useless. She couldn't hear me anymore, not anymore. Those words I've wanted to say, can never be said anymore..

Tears streamed down my cheeks, dripping onto her head. My ankle was in pain but the pain in my heart couldn't be compared. "I love you so much.. I love you, honey.." I whispered while hugging her slightly cold body tightly.


25th December 2015

Sitting at the bus stop near where the whole accident happened, I started remembering the times we had together - how they can never happen again.. I regretted everything. I lost her and our unborn child.

"Merry Christmas!" a sweet voice interrupted my train of thoughts. I looked up to find a few students dressing up as elfs, holding a basket full of candy canes. "This is for you, Merry Christmas!" she said cheerfully while passing me a candy cane. "Thank you.' I said. They returned me with warm smiles and continued walking around the streets. "How I wish you could be here with me honey," I sighed before whispering. "I love you and I will always do.."

-THE END-

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