Mama what happened to me?

Chapter Four

A/N: Thankyou for reading and voting my story please do continue to share; I will be updating a new chapter every few weeks, enjoy.

"Pass it to me mum said its my turn" the moaning sound of my little sisters voices echoed through the hallway and into the creak of my bedroom door. I tried figuring out what time it was but my eyes were not fully alive and focused yet. I turned to grab my phone from my bedside draw, when I suddenly felt a sharp stinging pain flow like an electric current through my whole body. "Ow" i groaned whilst tunring back to my lying position. Holding onto my arm i remembered the events of last night and realised id made a stupid mistake. The afterpain was always the worst. After a few minutes of lying there useless, i got up and ran into the bathroom to clean up last nights mess.

Using a soft cotton pad I turned the tap on drowining the whiteness with warm water. Once it was soggy i slapped it onto my wrist taking in the burning feeling; i wiped downwards so all the dried up blood from last night vanished. I then repeated the same process till i felt clean. My brain felt heavy inside my head and my eyes red due to lack of sleep. I stood staring at my lifless reflection. Then remembering the process after cutting i took off my hoodie turned it inside out and cleaned off the dried blood. My naked flesh felt cold and stiff in the empty square of a bathroom.

After freshening up and changing i grabbed a few dirty items of clothing hiding the wet hoodie right in the middle; preventing questions and pointless conversations. Grabbing my phone i headed towards the kitchen. Strangely the whole family was home today meaning id have to socialise. "Good bloody afternoon lils" dads amusement was not the best. "Afternoon fatty" i chuckled leaning against the worktop. Mum was washing the dishes and my two little sisters helping. My older sister was locked up in her room probably texting or sleeping and my brother struggling to reach the coco pops. "Ill get it" i walked around my dad and grabbed the coco pops handing them over to him. "Thanks lil" he called after sprinitng into the living room to grab the remote before i did. I still had dirty clothes all piled up in one hand so i walked to the machine and quitely started loading without being recongnised.

Once i clicked start i got up and poured in a glass of red bull. Daddy watched me and then looked at mum who also watched me. I stopped pouring and emptied the glass into the sink knowing the lecture i was about to get. "Yes i know i should take my meds and drink milk and have toast but you see mum, dad i cant because meds are pointless they just make me feel tired and useless and i cant do breakfast and" i was stopped halfway when mum interrupted " Lil stop! I've had enough of this always complaining and moaning that nothings ever good enough; for godsake take a look at yourself, you look so weak and pale youve lost about 7kilos in the past few days; i can see your bones coming out your neck you aint eaten a full meal without feeling sick your inside that bedroom all day and when you come out you barely say a word; why whats happened" mum went all teary and dad stared awkwardly. "Lills your still a baby in our eyes and one thing we fear the most is losing you; look babygirl every bad thing thats happened with this family in the past is over ye you need'nt worry about that now, we are all safe, me and your mum we've done nothing but try our hardest to make things work all we want baby is for your to be happy" there was a lump in my throat i tried swallowing it before my tears started to come out. My two little sisters managed to finish the washing up and walked around us and inside silently. "Lills whats happened tyu" mums voice was so gentle yet so powerful. I didnt know what to say, how would i ever get them to understand without hurting them. How was i supposed to tell them that it was all thier fault; that being caught up in parents arguments and voilence id feel ignored and afraid; that all those years as a kid when id lock my door and they'd think i was fine whilst they argued and fought, i was actually cutting myself or getting high or destroying my lungs. Not only because of my 'broken family home' but because of the other things. They'd never understand. So i just stood quietly trying to think of something to cover up. "Mum, dad im happy and greatful for everything but im still going through the quiet stage you know you just gotta sort of understand i guess, ill be fine soon i promise" i smiled and they smiled. I felt extremley weird seeing as my family wern't really the emotional talk type. After a few minutes we were all back to normal so i went back to my bedroom and played cod.

3 hours later

"Lills me your little sisters and your brother are heading to london for a few days; fancy coming?" mum waited for an answer and stood silently by the door. I put down the controller clicked my fingers and rotated my head a little. "Wheres dad" i asked curious, "His coming with us", "And what about Mia" "Shes at her mates for the weekend" i sighed knowingly she was obviously not with her mates, probably messing about on roads. "No il be fine at home, just leave some money and pizza leaflets" "Okay you dont need a babysitter but i thought id hire you one anyway" i didnt know wether to cry or scream so i just nodded till she left.

Great. Home alone with a babysitter.

After a good session of cod i got up to find the house empty and cold. I walked down the stairs and opened the fridge to find no food at all; so i grabbed the money and leaflets stuck on the fridge and started dialing the number. I ordered a small meat feast and then waited impatiently. I stared at the clock bored with too much freedom.

Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick toc tick toc 'RING RING RING' the vibrating noise of my phone made me jump; *ugly is calling* i stared at the moving signs on my phone and then swiped answer. "Wg1 sexy" damn it that voice meant trouble. "Wys ugly" i replied with no emotion. "You ready for your babysitter" oh fudge this was not good at all; i tried saying something but i lost my voice. "Lills? you there?" "Yeah um babysitter?" i questioned."Yeah baby" he replied seductivley. "Um Reese why are you whispering" i asked curiously. "Because im behind you" i was about to chuckle when i felt someones teeth nibble my ear. I jumped so fast and started screeching. "Chillllllll b" i was shivering even after i saw it was only him. "Wwwhat are you doing here how even where how did you get in" i asked, voice trembling. "Your mum phoned mines to babysit you but i got here first" he said looking more scared than me. We then both stared at eachother silently till the doorbell rang. Great i thought small meat feast aint gonna last.