Mama what happened to me?

Chapter Two.

A/N: Thankyou for all who read and voted my story. Please carry on reading and voting and thankyou for all the support. The story will be edited after the books complete. I will update the book every week hopefully. Yeah kthanksbye.

Meh, Friday morning. The excitement for the last day of the school week was no longer in my fragile little body. No strength. No energy. No feelings. No emotions. I was blank, as blank as the ceiling I was quitely staring up at. 'Lilly come on get up, we need to go to the hospital today' the sharp sound of my mothers voice hit the door of my bedroom; i tried ignoring the sound, but she continued calling my name till i responded. 'Im coming give me 10 minutes'  10 minutes to get up and get dressed ffs. I tried moving, getting my legs to co-operate with the rest of my body. After a long five minutes of jiggling about in the bed i decided to avoid the pain and quickly get up. Quilt off first. Oh lord , too cold to get out of bed was my bodies first reaction. So i quickly wrapped my petite body back into the quilt. I tried keeping my eyes open, it almost felt like the bags under my eyes were weighing them down; i hadnt slept in days. The comfort of my warm bed was quietly drowning me into a deep sleep. I let my body slowly drown into a world where no pain was felt. Thoughts ran through my mind, questions that were not answerable, feelings that were not understandable. And then i slowly fell into a peaceful sleep.

Half an hour later:

Motivating myself was no use, so i got up myself anyways. My legs thumped against the cold laminate flooring. I placed my hands on the side of the bed and pushed up my lifeless body. I was stable for about five seconds. Dizziness, colorfull dots crossed my eyes in a slow sideways moving motion. I wobbled abit and tried taking a step forward. The dizziness slowly disappeared as i walked further on. I stopped in front of my door opened it, walked into the bathroom and freshened up. 

Breakfast, probably the hardest part of the morning. Toast and orange juice. The toast first. I sat on an empty chair by the dinning table. My cold fingertips barely moved. I grabbed one half of the buttery toast. Placed the softer side in between my front teeth. I bit onto the toast, and chewed it slowly around my mouth. Now all i had to do was swallow it. Take it down my throat. I drank juice whilst trying to swallow. It went down my throat almost there i told myself. I can do this. But it was stuck half way down my throat. I tried forcing it down. It was all coming up again. Orange juice. I drank a little. It was no use, the little portion of toast came back out. Ffs no breakfast for me then again. 

It was 9am and I still hadnt had my morning pee. I needed to pee before i left. I waited 15 minutes. It was pretty useless so I decided i would leave without pee'ing. I grabbed my coat and gloves, put them on a left the house for the hospital. 

5 hours later:

If my day could get any worse id much rather be dead. I was given a quick checkup and had to go for a bloodtest at hospital. My left arm was pretty numb. I needed my sleep again. My mood was really frustrating me now. Why was i so bipolar for. I felt happy but i had the urge to express my feelings. I had to exercise my body, too much sleep would lead to a shit mood. British weather was so unpredictable. I wanted to play football, release the stress and anger. It was 4pm now; getting dark outside. I put on my black converse,my joggers and my hoodie;grabbed my football and walked outside. 

The cool breeze of the afternoon and the dark skies gave me a comfort. Made me feel safe. I placed the football on the ground. The lightness of the moon shone down upon the dark world giving me a sense of warmth. I got ready to boost the ball and abuse it with all my pain. The wall infront of me was my goal post. Sometimes id wish i could kick all my problems out onto the ball and boost it into the goal and get them to disappear. I tried it. I walked 11cm away from the ball and concentrated on it. I was boosting up my adrenaline with all my problems. Sprinted towards the ball and kicked so hard that the ball bounced way off the wall and back towards me. I repeated the action several times before i burst into tears. My eyes felt swollen I carried on until i felt my feet bruised from back to front. All the panic attacks replayed in my head. All the pain the suffering.

After a while i decided i needed to rest. I sat on the ground, arms and legs crossed with the football sitting inbetween my legs. I was hot but cold. I lay down gently, placed my head on the ground and spread out my legs. I tried looking out for stars but there was none. I felt so peaceful. The wind blew against the old tree's causing them to rustle gently. 

For some reason even after the wind blew, the tree's were still rustling... the rustling got closer. I froze, i needed to get up just incase it was a vampire or a zombie. But obviously my body being the wisest there is decided it would be funny to watch myself get eaten by the creature that was moving closer and closer towards me.. I felt a someones warm breath against my neck, 'hey baby'. I jumped up in fright and screamed so loud that the cats from next door hid under the toy car. 'Calm down, Lills its only me stop screaming omg'. He laughed so hard he could barely breathe a word afterwards. I got the football and kicked his balls in until he tumbled onto the ground like a domino. 'Your such a twat' my heart was going so fast legit i could not move my body. 'Why you so shook for Lills i was messing about' he looked up at me with a half smile. I wanted to kick him till his smile disappeared, but i decided against doing that. He slowly got up. His face made me want to burst into laughter, he was in so much pain. I looked towards the ground. Concentrating on the three small grass strands poking out of the concrete. I saw his feet move closer. 'Whats happened, cant you look at my beautiful face, aw have you gone shy' he whispered. I stepped back and looked up at him. He was smirking slightly; 'If i look at your face i think i might just throw up inside my own mouth, its a pretty sickening sight to be honest' that one definitely got rid of the smirk on his face. 'Hmm my face is so horrible, thats definitely the reason i pull a lot of girls in one day' great he had won this one. 'Well my face is my face' i stupidly said without thinking oh my god i hated situations like this, they got me so nervous. God he made me so nervous. 'What are you trying to imply exactly' he said trying to hold in his laughter. 'GO AWAY!' i turned around and tried getting to the house door without humiliating myself again. 'Wait, are you okay;saw you crying earlier' he said with sympathy in his tone of voice, it hurt a lot but i avoided it avoided the question. 'Do you wanna play black ops today?' I said slightly rotating my body to face him. 'Um yeah sure' 'Okay 6 o'clock' i walked in quickly before he could say anything else. 

My feet ached. I took off my shoes and neatly placed them on the side of my bed. I got naked and decided to shower. The warm water gently flowed down my body, cleaning the dirt off me. I washed my hair and then moved onto my body. I rinsed off all the shampoo and switched off the shower. Stepped out of the shower, dried down my body and placed the towel above my head. I walked out with just my dressing gown covering my naked skin. 

It was almost half past six. I switched on the playstation and put in the headset. Black ops two. That game was life. I joined his lobby. 'Hi Lilllllllsssss' he screeched in excitement . 'Heyyyy' i screeched back. 'So whose gonna win this game then' he asked with amusement in his voice. 'Probably most likely me or we basically wont ever talk again ' he laughed and we started the game. Private match. He was using a sniper, it actually scared me so much. Score was 12-14 three more kills and id win. I needed the last kill or i would actually cry. 2 minutes till the end of the game. I basically talked and complained throughout the whole game till i won 'Fucksakes no you cheated fuck off nah this is bullshit' he was raging so badly it made me laugh non stop. He chuckled a little then went quiet. I carried on laughing. 'You sound so cute when you laugh' i stopped. My cheeks went bright red. Butterflies flew inside of me. 'Shut up, come lets rematch'. 'Okay boss' he started the game again, i tried winning but his words replayed in my head. How did he make me feel so good. I couldnt tell him though i had to keep quiet, not tell him.