Chapter Thirteen: Liss

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"Slim Jims and ginger ale? That's a weird combination especially for someone who is heading to the World Cup." Andy says from behind me.

Fuck.

I put down the can of ginger ale and my half eaten meat stick and look at her. She studies me for a while before shaking her head.

"Are you knocked up?" She asks quietly.

"No." I don't know yet.

"And you're not drinking. Alyssa Swagger, are you pregnant?" Andy asks again.

"Nope." I shake my head.

I no more than choke out the words and I feel like I'm going to puke. I run into the bathroom next room and empty my stomach. Andy grabs my hair and I sit on the floor.

"I'm fucking sick." I mumble out and she shakes her head.

"You're knocked up." Andy tells me matter of factly.

"I can't be." I say.

"Are you late? Have you pissed on a stick yet?" She wonders.

"No I mean I can't be. I'm not married, my dreams are finally coming true. Andy, I can't be pregnant. I don't even know if Rikki wants to have kids. I don't want to lose him." I state and I swallow the lump in my throat.

"Lissa." She starts and I drop my head between my knees. "Did you piss on a stick yet?"

"No." I say and she sighs.

"You might be right, you might just be sick. But I'll tell you what. Tomorrow morning, when the boys go hunting with our cousins, you and me are going to find out for sure." Andy fixes my hair as I brush my teeth.

"I'm sorry I ruined your party." I say from behind the foam and she shakes her head.

"I might be an Auntie, I don't care." She smiles.

"I'm just sick." I say again. I'm just telling myself this at this point.

I stand in the bathroom of Andy's house the next day, looking down at the test. Two pink lines. I'm pregnant. I keep looking at it like it's going to change but it doesn't. I'm carrying Rikki Rockett's baby.

I can't tell him. What if he leave me? What if he doesn't want kids?

Rugby. My career is over. I can't not play rugby, it's my life. It would be taking away a vital part of my life.

There's too much going on right now, with Andy and CC. I need to be there for Andy. I need to be big sister. Some role model I am. I'm twenty-four and pregnant out of wedlock.

Andy opens the door and walks in beside me. She looks at the test on the counter and I break down and cry on the bathroom floor like a baby. Andy sits down beside me and rubs my back.

I cry for a long time. It might be a mix of hormones, gramps death, no more rugby, the fact that the man I love may leave me. But I cry. Once I'm too the point of shaking and short on breath, Andy turns to me.

"Wanna go get a strawberry pie?"

We sit at the same table we always to and we share the pie. We eat in silence for a long time before I finally speak up.

"He's going to leave me." I say and she shakes her head.

"No he won't. If he does, I'll hurt him. As it stands right now, Clint, Ray, and Carter might kill him." Andy smiles.

"How do I even go about telling him?" I wonder.

"You could throw the test at his face." She smirks and I laugh. "Let me talk to him, there's a couple things I want to talk to him about before you tell him."

"What?" I ask her confused.

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it. Just drink ginger ale and eat Slim Jims." Andy smiles.

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