All the dark places (Short story)

Chapter two

You're under water but your not struggling for air, you're just there unmoving. You let your senses consume you as you travel deeper -deeper in the water. Your eyes are closed. Not tight, but relaxed, you let your hands drift to your sides and as your toes unclench. You are now one with the water, it will take you wherever it travels. And you are happy to let it take you.

"Look seriously Helen, it's really nice that you've written that for me but it's not going to help! What I need is serious meds not hippie  junk , about a girl who's just drowned herself in a lake" I huffed trying to keep my temper in check, but the way Helen was always grinning at me with that weird smile made me feel she was making up shit as she goes.

You see, Helen has been my councillor for as long as I can remember and deep down I knew she was just itching to get rid of me. I've always been moaning at her to prescribe me with strong medication for my illnesses instead of all the hippy speeches she's been throwing at me.

"Humphh , Mia that story is not about a girl trying to commit suicide. I am trying to help you relax your brain a little in ways which aren't meds because if I was to put you back on them it would just end up like last time, and you know that." She sighed defeated, placing the book down on the oak table beside her.

"No it wouldn't, oh I don't know! I don't know anything argh! why is life so complicated!" I growled and threw my hands up in frustration.

"Mia calm down. We could try the medication but maybe in a couple of months we need to see how this goes first ok?" Helen widened her eyes at my sudden uproar.

"Right ok whatever but I need help Helen, you need to help me!" I pleaded and leaned forward in the uncomfortable seat.

Summer 2013

My ears buzz and she calls out my name, she's looking right at me with worried eyes and shakes me hesitantly. I suddenly break into consciousness slapping her in a panic. She walks off now knowing I'm awake looks at me again and spits her sickly pink gum at my feet. I get up not knowing what just happened and walk into Miss Sitte's office. She suddenly rose up in embarrassment and stood in front of her computer as if to hide it.

Everyone has known since year seven Miss Sitte watches dirty videos at lunch, Many people have even seen her, but it doesn't stop her from watching them.

The girl stutters out the words 'what do you want', looking at my body language to figure if I had seen her watching the adult screen, I say that I want to go home because I feel ill. Weirdly she lets me after I filled in a tragically, idiotic form that asked questions like did you fall over?

I walk down the road slowly, stoppping at the bus stop. I get my crumpled ticket out and after a few minutes of waiting get on the bus. I sit on the back row sprawling my legs out onto the opposite chairs, getting my iPod out, I fish around in my pocket looking for my earphones but don't succeed in finding them so I just play the music loud.

Thirteen minutes later the sights follow , I look out the smeared window of the bus,  seeing a young girl wandering around all on her own. It seems she has black wavy hair down to her waist and now talking to a man who I can't see. I look away knowing it's none of my business, but from curiosity I look again;  they're both looking my way. The man, is in a suit and  has a a red face that is dripping with blood. The girl looks at me too but this time she's smiling, smiling a gigantic grin that sends pure fear signals right down the back of my spine.

I remember that one vividly, maybe it was my first time seeing things that weren't there. I get them when I'm tired mostly but recently any time. When they come, it can take a long time for them to go away. I never spoke of the psychotic sights to Helen because she would do nothing so until they go away I have to live with them. Live in a world where you see horrible sights of people you don't even know, dripping in blood, crying because someone's just stabbed them, sometimes just staring, into your eyes with theirs black pools of nothing. I never want my eyes to look like that. When I feel a sight coming on I try to concentrate on something else or even try to sleep, but recently I'm hooked, unable to feel  my face. I'm trying to move my arms but they won't budge, my eyes are fixed and my neck locked. My body is stuck and my eyes stream; without blinking.