Walking Travesty

This Life Is Mine To Live

"Clara. Clara please wake up you need to see this", Maggie whispered dragging me out of my nice dream of concerts and Alex Gaskarth. See that dream, I could work with. I opened my eyes and at first I didn't see anything special or anything to be alarmed at. Maybe Connor because his face looked so serious. Why, I didn't know and to be honest I didn't even want to know. In some way I knew it had something to do with either Brad or Aaron. I sat up from my comfortable seat on the floor and looked around. "Clara for fucks sake it's not here. It's in the kitchen", Maggie said dragging me up from the floor and into the kitchen. The closer I came the louder the noises got. Someone was yelling. Why did I always have to deal with problems early in the morning or in the middle of the night? Why couldn't it be like at noon? "SHE LIKES ME YOU IDIOT! ARE YOU REALLY THAT FUCKING CLUELESS?", someone yelled and my jar dropped. Who were fighting and who were they fighting about? "SHE HATES YOU DICK", Someone else yelled and I knew that it was infact Brad and Aaron. I walked through the kitchen door and they were standing a few metres apart from each other. Connor walked in behind me and took place next to Scarlet who was standing behind Aaron. The others like James, Tristan and Nina were standing behind Brad. This was so confusing at so early. "Guys stop yelling it hurts", I muttered making all eyes dart to me. "Clara, Brad thinks you like him, tell him you don't", Aaron groaned and Brad rolled his eyes. "I'm too tired for this okay? I had a bad nights sleep and I just don't want to deal with this right now", I answered him harshly and Brad looked at me with his eyes widened. "You looked like you were sleeping good. Since we've been arguing for about half an hour", Brad said casually. "Shut up Brad you have no idea". Maggie grabbed my one shoulder for reassurance. She knew that I was up late. "HOW CAN YOU BE SO FUCKING CASUAL ABOUT THIS? He's basically saying that he loves you", Aaron yelled at me. I froze and could feel tears starting to well up in my eyes. I hated when people yelled at me. They didn't have the right to do that. "Don't you dare yelling at me", I whispered and he closed his mouth. "You need to choose Clara. Your little pathetic boyfriend or me?", Brad said starting to walk closer making Aaron do the same. What would I do if I chose Aaron? I would wonder how it felt like to be with Brad and I wouldn't be able to help him. If I chose Brad and it didn't work out I couldn't go back to Aaron. That would be cruel and he didn't deserve that. Did I really want to choose right now? With all of these things happening to my family. I need to talk to dad, I have to spend time with Jacob and what about mom? I haven't even thought about her and I always think about her every day. I'm putting my family aside for what a couple of guys? Friends? I couldn't do that. I would never fit in here and I don't even want to try. Everything was good before. No one was bothering me except Scarlet which I could handle but all of these people? It was too much for me to handle. "Fine", I whispered taking a step forwards. A tear slit down my cheek making Brad's eyes widen. "I choose none of you. I can't do this okay? I don't fit in here. You are all a group of good looking people who are all open and fun and I'm me. I'm awkward, I stutter and my family needs me right now. I'm sorry", I whispered looking at Aaron who had the saddest expression on his face. I looked at Brad. He looked sad but I think that in some way he understood. "I'm j-just going to go", I whispered running into the living room, packed my stuff on record time and ran out of the house with all of them looking after me. More tears started to fall from my eyes and as I arrived home I was one big emotional wreck. I collapsed on my bed and cried like I had never cried before. I wanted friends, I wanted a perfect family and I wanted Brad and Aaron. Life was just so unfair. I dodged all the calls I got from Scarlet, Maggie and Brad, and turned on my music to the loudest since I knew Dad and Jacob were already up. I played Therapy burying my head in my pillow and hid my body under the covers. I didn't even realize that I hadn't changed into my normal clothes so I was still in my night wear. Well I don't really care now. My door creaked open and Jacob came through it tiptoeing to the other side of the bed, crawled under the covers and hugged me tightly making me cry even more. "Don't cry Clara, I don't like when you cry", he whispered pulling his small hands through my hair. I was supposed to be the adult here, yet he was the one comforting me. And it was so nice. It wasn't someone who was going to judge me because I knew he loved me. When my cries died down a bit he kissed my cheek and told me to get some sleep. I nodded and hugged him before he walked out closing the door behind him.