Walking Travesty

Who Could Deny These Butterflies

                   

It was early in the morning and I was both excited and terrified going to school. I had to face Scar and Aaron which I don't know how well that will go, but on the other hand I'm going to spend the day with Brad. I pulled on a pair of ripped light blue jeans, a white top and my converse.  I straightened my hair and let it hang loose on purpose since Brad liked it that way and put on my glasses. Every time I think about him or our kiss I want to break into song. It made me so happy that I could scream as loud as I wanted without even caring. And trust me that was rare in my world. I swung my bag over my shoulder and started to pour up cereal and milk in a bowl. "Jacob come down for breakfast before we're going!", I yelled and he came running down the stairs with a big smile on his face. "Why are you so happy?", I asked making him smile wider. "You're taking me to school and you're happy", he squealed. How can a little guy be so cute? His heart was truly made of gold. He ate it as fast as he could and while he was getting ready I took an apple from the fruit bowl. I could eat it on the way there. I helped him tie his shoes and locked the door after us. He convinced me to hold his hand the whole way to his school and since I was in a good mood I didn't even care. "I'm coming to pick you up when I'm done with school okay?", I said and he nodded. "Don't go anywhere until I'm here, and stay out of trouble", I continued and pulled him into a hug. "Bye minion", I yelled after him as he ran to the school entrance. I looked at the time and if I ran I would be in English class on time. I plugged in my earphones listening to I feel like dancing and made my way to school. I guess this day is going to be very interesting.

-

I arrived just in time since I basically ran into Mr. Dawson in the hall. "You're very energetic today Clara", he laughed letting me enter the classroom first. Just as I entered my eyes locked with Brad's and he gave me the cheekiest smile ever. He was so cute. I blushed before walking past him and sat down in my seat. I looked at Scar who was staring at me. I knew she was being careful. She didn't know that it wasn't her that I was mad of. I wasn't mad at anyone. It was just all too much for me and I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle the truth. And the truth was that I liked Brad. Maybe I liked him more than I should? Maybe it was the whole idea that I knew something personal about him that no one else knew? I looked at my desk drawing random things in my notepad as Mr. Dawson prepared for class. I looked up after drawing a smiley face and glanced at Brad who was texting someone. I didn't know who but I'm sure that it isn't that important. Almost only two seconds later I got a text from Brad. I guess I found out who he was texting which made me smile more than it should.

Text From: Brad

Dinner at your place tonight?

I smiled down at my phone well knowing that he was watching me right now and replied with a yes. Mr. Dawson told us all to put away our phones but Brad got to read my text before stopping the phone into his jeans pocket. I smiled to myself and started to take notes to the lesson. He was giving us ideas for what we could write in our assignments. I just couldn't concentrate on what he was saying. I was too distracted by Brad biting his pencil. He looked so concentrated and still so laid back. I didn't know how he was doing it. When I concentrated I always looked stressed out and on the verge of tears.

-

after class I made my way out to the front of the school and sat down on the green grass since it was nice and warm. I pulled out a book from my bag and decided that reading would do me good. Maybe that could help me concentrate a bit more? But of course it didn't help at all. Instead of reading I thought about what I should make for dinner. What did Brad like to eat other than fastfood? What did his mother make him for dinner? I bet it's really posh. how was I supposed to compete with a rich mom in a big kitchen? I had my small kitchen in the place I called my home. "What are you thinking so hard about?", someone asked sitting next to me. I looked to my right side where Brad was now sitting looking at me intensely. He was probably trying to figure out what I was thinking about. "What to make you for dinner", I whispered and looked at my hands. "I don't really care to be honest. I just like food", he replied and once again I was disappointed. I had imagined me making something he had never tasted before and be crazy about it. I don't think he's easily impressed. "Why do you look so sad?", he asked again and I sighed. "It's nothing", I whispered playing with my fingers. I also had to cook dinner for Jacob so it wasn't like it was a romantic dinner no matter what I was hoping. "It's not". My jar dropped as he said those words and I turned around so I was facing him with my body. "I don't know what I was hoping", I replied and shrugged. "Tell me". "That you would be a little more excited? That it could be only us", I explained and looked into his brown eyes that was to die for. Maybe I was expecting too much. I mean it is just Brad. He's not cheesy and he can be mean and irritating at times. Maybe he wasn't the romantic person? "What do you mean only us?", he asked taking my hand tracing his fingers up and down my arm. "you know I have to take care of Jacob", I replied feeling the tears welling up in my eyes. No, I didn't want to cry anymore. I wasn't going to be one of those girls who cry at everything. That wasn't me. I've held it in since mom got cancer. "We can still be alone. Maybe not at dinner but we still have the whole day and evening", he laughed making me smile. His laugh always made me smile. Even when he was being a dick. I nodded and he placed his hand softly on my cheek. I heard the bell ring and as he moved his hand from my face he brushed his finger over my lips sending a shiver down my spine. He smiled before standing up reaching his hand out for me to take. He pulled me up from the grass and took my bag handing it to me. "See you in P.E nerd", he said but with a smirk plastered on his face. Even though I didn't like the nickname, this time I knew it wasn't meant as an insult. He winked at me before walking away. I just reached my maths classroom when someone grabbed my wrist pulling me backwards. I turned around before the person could drag me further away and I breathed out a sigh of relief when it was only Scar. I let her drag me to the girls bathroom where she finally stopped and locked the door. "Before you say anything I'm sorry okay? None of us thought that you were feeling that kind of pressure and I just wanted to say that it isn't true. You do belong with us okay? You're not an outsider I promise. After you left everyone kind of went silent. Even Brad and Aaron. Aaron was sad that you broke up with him and Brad was sad that you had to run home alone. Please just talk to me I'm so sorry". I've never heard Scar talk THAT much. Yes she talks a lot and gets excited very fast but she's never been so deep. "You don't really have anything to feel sorry for", I quietly said making her eyes widen. "You aren't mad at me?", she asked taking a step closer. "No. Not at all". "Then why did you run away?", she asked sitting down on the floor making me follow. "Like I said. I just don't belong there. I meant everything I said". I looked down at my hands not wanting to admit the next thing I was going to say. "And when Aaron told me that I had to tell Brad that I didn't like him I couldn't. Because I do like him. A lot", I whispered embarrassed. I glanced up at Scar and she looked so taken aback. She knew that I liked Brad but I don't think she thought I liked him that much. "Do you like Brad more than Aaron?", she asked and I nodded slowly. "Then why were you with Aaron?", she asked softly. "Because he was sweet, and he was the first guy to take an interest in me". "But then you met Brad", she whispered as realization hit her. "and then I met Brad yes. He was mean, irritating and a pain in the ass but he has a good heart. He can be the sweetest person when he wants to be and he's different", I whispered. Talking about it made me realize that I never really liked Aaron in the boyfriend way. It was always like a very good friend who you cared about. That was why it felt like home when he kissed me. "Have you told Brad?", she asked and I looked up. "When I ran home yesterday I had to go out groceryshopping. Let's just say that Brad ran into me, literally, he drove me to the hospital and drove me home". "Then what happened?", Scar asked now sounding like she was excited for the next thing to happen. "He walked me to the door and made a really cute speech and then we kissed. And it was amazing", I whispered and she was now smiling. "When I kiss Connor I feel fireworks. Is it the same with Brad?", she asked and I nodded now blushing. Could I have what Connor and Scarlet has, with Brad? "Girl you are in love", she squealed hugging me. "W-what?", I asked freezing. "You love him", she yelled and I put my hand on her mouth making her shut up. "no I don't!", I complained. "We've kissed twice, it's impossible for me to love him". "but you so do. The feeling you get when you kiss him? That the two of you acts like you know each others deepest secrets and the way you came running to him when he needed help. You love him". No that couldn't be true. I was just scared that he was going to get hurt. But me caring does that mean that I love him? No I don't think so. I would do the same for Scar. "I don't". She was about to protest when I raised my hand. "No. I don't want to talk about it". She nodded clearly disappointed and I unlocked the door walking out with Scar behind me.