Walking Travesty

Missing you

"I can tell them to go home if you want". I could see how upset Brad got and I knew he didn't want to show the others. "No. No have fun. I'm fine", he forced on a smile but it didn't really reach his eyes. "Brad you're not fine". His eyes widened as he knew he couldn't lie to me anymore. "Fine. I'm not okay. I didn't even do anything this time. Yes, I got my punishment when I did something wrong but I didn't do anything wrong", he said frustrated while shaking his head. He still thought it was okay to get punished like that. Somehow that hurt me. "Brad it's never okay to beat people up. I think deep down you know", I whispered resting my hands on his upper arms to try and calm him down. "No. They punish me when I do something wrong. What's not understandable with that?". Was he serious? "I don't get punished by my father Brad. It's not normal just trust me on this". "And what happened to your dad huh? He just left you. I'm sure he doesn't even care about you". Ouch. That hurt. And it hurt because it was true. He didn't care about me anymore. It was the truth. And the truth hurts. What hurt the most though was Brad saying it. Was he trying to hurt me on purpose? Hitting me in the face was different from getting hurt by words. It's so much worse. A tear fell from my eye and down my cheek and I looked down not wanting to look at him. "You're right. He doesn't care anymore", I whispered before turning around walking down the stairs to the girls. "CLARA", Brad yelled but I just continued until I was standing right in front of them. "What happened? Why are you crying?", Maggie asked pulling me into her body in a tight grip. "I don't want to talk about it", I whispered. They all nodded understandingly and I sat down on the couch. Maggie and Nina took the floor and I laid down resting my head on Scars lap. She started to slowly stroke my hair. "So. What are we watching?", Nina asked starting Netflix on the tv. "Mean girls", Scar yelled and we all agreed. Maggie got the popcorn and I closed my eyes for a bit. "Clara?", Scar asked and I opened my eyes to find Brad walking down the stairs. It was like he knew I was looking at him because his eyes locked with mine. He sat down on the stairs and took on his shoes, threw his jacket on and left. Just like that. No 'I'm sorry', no nothing. Was this really already the end of us? It couldn't be. I really liked him. I didn't mean to make him mad, but he didn't have the right to hurt me like that. He knew how much I loved my parents and how much it hurt that they weren't there. And they probably would never be. He went over the line there and I could take some time to forgive him. Why couldn't it just be like in the movies where they get together and live happily ever after? No mom with cancer, no dad leaving and no child abuse? Could it really be that hard? But I guess reality sucked. It would never be like in fairytales or movies. Not everything had a happy ending.

-

The whole night I've been moody and sad. This day had been so nice and fun until Brad ruined that for me. The other girls didn't say anything about it but I knew that when I left they talked about me. They were trying to figure out what happened between Brad and I. "Clara I don't want you to be sad. Whatever happened I'm sure he didn't mean it", Maggie whispered as the credits for 'the confessions of a shopaholic' came on screen. "I don't know. I think he did", I whispered back sighing. "What did he even say since it clearly hurt you so much?". I wanted to tell her but I couldn't. I didn't want anyone to know that my dad just left me and Jacob alone. It would be embarrassing. I felt so ashamed. "It's nothing". I guess that was an answer she could live with. She repected my privacy and that made me happy. I hate nosy girls who tries to press every secret that you've ever had out of you that at last you're like an open book. It makes me feel exposed and unsure of myself. That was how I felt when Brad found out about my mom. It was my secret and he didn't respect that. He wanted to know every little detail in my life and sometimes I just don't want to share that with him. "Should we get ready for bed? I'm so dead", Nina yawned and I stood up walking up to my room. I found my usual set of nightwear and went to the bathroom to change.

-

I woke up to the sound of the doorknob being turned, did I forget to lock it? I was so sure that I locked it before going to bed. "Who's coming so late at night?", Maggie groaned sitting up obviously waking up the others. The doorknob kept turning and I heard a voice muttering a 'for fucks sake' before the door finally opened and the person stumbled in. It was Brad. Even in the dark I could see his body features. Small, slim yet still with wide shoulders and curly hair. But why was he stumbling? "Clara?", he slurred looking for me. Of course. He was hammered. "Clara where are you", he then groaned. "I'm in here Brad", I groaned back and I heard his loud footsteps as he entered the living room. I turned on the lights and Brad took a good look at me. "I'm so sorry Clara I didn't mean it. I'm an idiot you know that", he slurred once again and fell into my arms. "Is he drunk?", Scarlet asked and I nodded. "Brad forget it. And go to bed", I said harshly. "NO! I'm not sleeping. You were telling the truth I just didn't want to hear it", he said and he sounded torn. "Brad be quiet please. I'm sorry I made you mad but let's talk about it tomorrow". I tried to say it as softly and slowly as possible but I don't think he got it. " You were right!Parents shouldn't-", he started but stopped. "Brad?", I asked waving my hand in front of him. Then he fell forwards and straight into me. I didn't know what was coming so I fell down with him landing on top of me. "Holy shit Clara are you okay?", Scarlet asked. Brad passed out while talking. I've never been so relieved in my whole life. What would have happened if they found out? "Help", I pleaded and they lifted Brad off me. "How drunk can you get in a few hours", Maggie asked out of disbelief. "If you're Brad. Very". I stood up looking at him sleeping soundly on the floor. He looked so broken. "Let's get him to bed". The others helped me carrying him up the stairs, and let's just say that it was not an easy task. He may not be the tallest guy and he was very light but he was heavy when he slept. He was a 19 year old guy after all. We threw him on my bed and I heard a low groan before he turned around and hugged the cover. "aw he looks so cute". I looked at Nina who was staring at the sleeping figure that was now laying in my bed. "Has this happened before since you're so casual about it?", Maggie asked sitting on the edge of my desk. "It happened before I started dating Aaron". Scarlets eyes went wide as I said that sentence. "What?". "He kind of came here at like 3 am and he crashed here". "I think you should sleep here. Just to watch him", Maggie suggested and I nodded. "Night girls".