Tutor Me, Jock? {BoyxBoy}

Chapter 9 (Part 1)

Written by lostboys_lostgirls

A T T I C U S

One second I was yelling at Christian and the next his hands are in my hair and his lips are on mine.

I was shocked. Every thing that I was about to say or had said vanished from my mind.

Christian Anderson, the boy I had had a crush on since freshman year was kissing me, my virgin lips no longer innocent.

But before my mind could catch up with my actions (or lack there of) our lips separated and Christian was out of the door.

I took in a breath, letting it all sink in. Christian had just kissed me and I didn't kiss him back. I had pushed him away because he protected me.

My aunt came down stairs then, probably because she heard the door slam shut. "What happened? Where's Christian?"

"I don't want to talk about it." I said. I walked for the door but she grabbed my arm.

"Atticus, what happened?" She asked, this time looking me dead in the eyes demanding an answer.

"Not now, please." I tried to give her the most sincere look that told her that I would tell her later. But it was hard to pull of since I didn't really want to tell her anything.

She loosened her grip on me and reluctantly nodded her head, letting me walk out the door.

I had no idea where I was going so I just drove.

***

About an hour later I was at a cemetery, the one that my parents were buried in to be exact.

I walked to their tombstones, side by side. I placed flowers on both of their graves and sat down on the grass in front of them.

"I miss you." I said weakly, trying hard not to let my voice crack.

It was so hard trying to talk to them, even after they were gone, because of their disapproval of my sexuality. But the more I visited them, the more I felt that if they were alive, they would have grown to except it.

"I really wish you were here." My voice cracked at the last word and tears began to blur my vision, "I really wish you were here all my life, in person, not just in video chats or letters." I felt the tears roll down my cheeks, "Things are starting to get harder now they you're gone."

I wiped away my tears and tried to straighten up. I really hated crying, I hated feeling vulnerable and weak. Maybe that's why I pushed Christian away.

I proceed to tell them what was going on in my life, all of it about Christian and how this all started.

Once I was finished I felt better, finally saying it out loud. I knew that I would have to tell this to my therapist and I already planned to go there next.

I cleaned myself up and before walking back to my car I said one final thing, "I love you."

I walked back to my car and drove silently to my therapists office.