A Cup of Fate

27th Phase: The Worst Lies

a/n: this chapter is dedicated to the awesome @kyrstal_payne :) again. thank you for the promotion. xx It means a lot. And if you still haven't read her fanfic, you SHOULD. xx

I will sort of do a little promotion over here too. xx Please read @xylopohone_'s story. it's entitled Dodging Bullets. It's actually really good. :) and also @sophia_lagniton's Niall Horan: Fanboy. Go check it out. Just click on the external link on the side. xx They helped me in choosing my cover. sort of. :)

27th Phase: The Worst Lies

Maggie’s POV

As soon as I turned away from Taylor, I felt my eyes weighing heavier as I take a step, making my way to the entrance door. My knees were beginning to get weak. Walking out of this restaurant felt like a thousand of years; it is endless. “A few more steps Maggie,” I whispered to myself as I continuously drag my feet out of this fine dining bistro. I hate fine dining places. It always makes me go back to that time when me and Niall went to eat dinner; worst food in the entire planet. As I approached the door, my hand fumbled with the brass doorknob glinting by the yellow lights surrounding the place. I put all my efforts on my upper arm to push through the wooden antic door.

The sight of the outside world made me free. It felt like I was a prisoner for a good couple of seconds when I was inside- It was suffocating. I can't make myself breathe. I hauled a sigh of relief when I opened the door. The breezy air swallowed me up with open arms as I started to pace down the block. I wrapped my arms around my own body to keep myself warm- but it was more of keeping myself together. I’m like a Jenga tower right now, slowly toppling as a part of me was taken away.

I chewed on my cheeks. I stared at my feet, not looking where I was heading.

Plop.

“Fuck.” I cursed under my breath.

I shouldn’t have looked down. I tried to lift my head up and blink the water back into my eyes before more of them comes rushing down my cheeks- but it was too late. As soon as I felt that there’s no way to stop them, I began to run- away from these bare streets, away from the coldness of the open air, away from anyone breathing.  I gripped onto my coat tightly as my feet thump hard on the concrete ground making loud boom noises as it alternates a step.

Why the freaking hell am I crying? I shouldn’t be crying. I shouldn’t be breaking right now. I shouldn’t be running away- but I am.

“No, I don’t like Harry. We’re just good friends.” My voice keeps replaying on my head.

Do you know what’s so funny? It’s that I couldn’t make myself believe every word I’m saying. Just like what Richard Bach once quoted, the worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. It’s easier to fool ourselves rather than face the truth.  

I can tell myself I’m not mesmerized by his dazzling green eyes, but my eyes would stare at those forever. I can tell myself his annoyingly out-of-this-world jokes are not adorable, but my mouth won’t stop laughing when he tells one. I can tell myself he doesn’t make me smile, but my lips are glued, forming a quirked up smile every time he’s around. I can tell myself I’m not comfortable with him, but my head will only lay on his shoulder when I feel low. I can tell all these things to prove I don’t like Harry, but my heart won’t believe a word I’m saying because I do.  I do like him, no matter what foolish excuse I would think of to try to convince myself I don’t.

When I talked to Taylor, all this guilt has been rushing up through my veins, wanting to set themselves free. I tried to hold myself together, careful not to break in front of Taylor. I wanted to scream I’m sorry then cry in front of her but I can’t. I don’t want her to think I’m stealing her boyfriend because I am not and I don’t have any plans on doing that.