It hadn't hurt my skin, it didn't leave bruses or scars, it just left holes in my heart.
•••
I still wanted to go back to school. I
didn't want to hide away, then they would know I was weak and scared. I had to let them know I wasn't afraid because I was innocent.
I walked into home base as I always do. People now have a seat reserved for me in the corner in the back. Immediately, the speakers fuzzes to live revealing our principals voice.
"Good Morning Panthers! Please stand for the pledge." His deep voice announced as we all stood up. I whispered the words under my breath.
"Thank you. Now for announcements. First off, fantastic win last night for our football team. And our cheerleading team did very well too." I rolled my eyes. Sure, the other girls did great. They had pushed me to the benches.
"Now! Important news! Winter Formal tickets are here! The dance will be December 7th, that first Friday! I expect all of you to get your tickets soon! Have a great day panthers and so your best!"
Everyone shifted around in their seats then whispered about who they would go to prom with.
I would definitely not be going. I would just ruin it for everyone.
My phone buzzed in my backpack. No one noticed so I took it out.
New iMessage
IGNORE ME
I decided to change the number in my contacts. Now I would get a text from IGNORE ME. But that still didn't seem to help. I was always interested and dying for a whisper.
So you heard the news about the dance. Go after lunch and buy two tickets. I have a date for you. And you better go.
XOXOX
My Diamond
I slapped my phone closed and bit my lip. Tickets were expensive and I'm sure my parents wouldn't want me to go. But I had to go. I had to do everything that person said.
•••
I didn't touch my lunch that day and immediacy went for the front office. I slid through the doors and retreated to the front desk.
"Um.... I would like to buy two winter formal tickets." I say to our friendly desk lady. I obviously don't know her name. She rummages through her desk then takes out two glossy tickets.
"Alright then. A couples pack will be fifty dollars." She looks up at me and smiles.
I rummage through the pocket in my backpack. I definitely don't carry half a hundred dollars in my backpack.
I open my mini wallet that carries my ID and a few bucks then I notice a white sticky note with red ink.
You didn't think I wouldn't pitch in. You're welcome.
Taped together was a fat stack of 20s and 10s creating the exact 50 dollars amount. Of course they knew I would need the money and how much the tickets cost.
I set down the money and hands me the tickets. I fold them into my wallet and walk back out.
$
$
$
School ended quickly and I went to my car and drove home. I scurried up to my room and lay out my backpack. I lay in bed for a while, then remember the tickets. I get them out of my wallet and straighten them up a bit.
I skip dinner, I skip any movies, I skip family time that I never seen to get.
I check on my phone and swipe through all the texts I've ever gotten from this person. I've never responded or anything.
Why not?
I start to type, but realize I have nothing to say. Eventually, I think of something I actually wanted to know.
Who am I going to the dance with?
I wait and wait but no response. It gets later in the night until it's almost 12:00.
Ping.
Ping.
Two new text messages pop up on my phone and I know where to go.
Glad we're finally communicating. I will get the tickets tonight. Just leave them on your night table and I can get them while you sleep.
I cringed my stomach. They can get into my house. They watch me sleep, they are inches away from me.
Oh and yes. You're going to the dance with me. Nice surprise isn't it? No matter what, I will dance with you.
