Chasing the Voice [ON HOLD]

14 <we want revenge>

Chapter 14 – we want revenge

Kelly’s POV

How could I do that? To him? To Jake?! He had done nothing wrong to me yet I gave him stupidity and lies in return. I know. Bad idea.

I admit I was a coward. I was scared, terrified. Not for myself but for him. All I did is best for the situation, I think.

I could take the blame and all. Hatred. Judgments. Gossips. Rumors. But one thing I couldn’t is Jake being destroyed by my selfishness. I don’t know if he’s crashed by what I did, which was cruel of course. I mean if we swap places, I probably would commit suicide. But that cannot happen because we can never exchange ourselves.

But did Jake ever thought I was special? Could he possibly fall for me? I got it when he told me I was an inspiration to him but fall? To Kelly Howard? He’s way confused. Yeah, keep telling yourself that Kelly.

It’s prom tonight and I don’t know if I can even come. I have no date, I can’t face Jake and that witch Melanie and plus I am ashamed of myself. I texted Jelly I couldn’t go because I’m sick but that was just bad as my other excuses! It didn’t work.

That just made my besttie more worried.

“What are you doing here, Jellica?” I asked as she stormed inside my room, not even knocking.

“What are you doing? We better get ready to prom girl. Get up!”

As much as I want to come Jel, I can’t. I better lock myself in my room. I didn’t answer her, instead, I cried.

“What’s wrong? Did I do something?” she questioned, concerned. I shook my head telling her it’s not her fault I was sad.

“Then what’s wrong? Tell me. You’re crying Kelly. Please tell me why you’re like that! I know I should just shut up but this is prom. You should come. If you really don’t want to attend then at least tell me why. You’re scaring me.”

I paused for five seconds, gathering my thoughts, “It’s Jake.”

“Jake?! What did he do this time?!”

“It’s not really him. It’s more of me. I… I… I pushed him away,” I finally told her.

I detailed what I really did to him. From what happened two hours ago and how he reacted. On how bitchy I was and how coward I am. I then wondered, what if I didn’t meet Jake? What if I didn’t sing with him in that bathroom? What if also I am really not the voice? What if . . .

Would I still be miserable like this? Then I thought, it’s not all about that. It’s not all about how I felt bad and it’s not just all about me. I mean for once, I’ve stood up for others too. Not for myself but for them. And just seeing him happy is already okay to me. But…

One thing was wrong. He’s not happy.

“It’s very painful Jel. I don’t want him to feel that way. Hurt. I want him to be happy because he’s the only one who made me experience things I haven’t felt before. He taught me to stand up for myself, from my own feet. To not hide behind others’ back. That it’s okay if people see you are down because what they’ll do then is pull you up. To sing in front of a crowd. To take risks, to take things step by step. And that it’s not good not to share talents.”

“Then why? I can see you are happy with him and he’s happy too.”

“That’s why. I don’t want to be the cause of that broken happiness.”

“Broken? What are you talking about? I don’t understand, Kelly.”

“You see… I still haven’t told you everything about Melanie.” I took a big sigh before continuing. “She’ll tell everyone I am not that voice. Which means Jake is just hanging out with a liar. And what’s worse? She’ll start gossips that I am a slut.”