Bag Lady:(Book One)

Bag 1--Rape

(2006)

It's been a month and I was feeling better. My mom and I was in front of my school sitting in the car, I was late so know no one was outside.
"You okay baby?" She asked.

I nodded my head yes.

"I want you to stay focus okay and if you see Kada do not asso--"

"I not talking to her" I blurted out.

"Okay Janessa" she closed her eyes and kissed my forehead "I love you"

"I love you too" I grabbed my back pack and started walking into the school.

....

I walked into my first hour class and missed half of it.

"Hello Janessa! It's good to have you back, have a seat sweety" Ms. Rivera, my English teacher said.

"Hi" I looked down at the ground and sat at a desk  , I heard the boys behind me chuckle.

....

Everybody was starring at me, I put my head down on the desk, After 15 minutes the bell rung, I walked out to the crowded hallway and some people stared at me while whispering and laughing with thier friends.

What are they laughing about?

"Hey Janessa" I turned around and seen a friend of mine named Courtney.

"Hi" I mumbled.

"Are you feelin okay? I heard you were in the hospital."

"Who told you that?"

"Kada"

"Yeah I was for a minute"

A girl busted out laughing as she walked passed us. I put my head down and literally wanted to crawl under a desk.

Why is everybody laughing?!

People kept on laughing and whispering. Courtney grabbed my hand and led me into the girls bathroom, which was empty.

"What's wrong?" I asked

"Kada was sayin some shit and I know it ain't true."

"What? What did she say?!"

"She said that you let some niggas run a train on you. But I know you Nessa, I know that's not true"

"Its not! She's lying, ooo imma beat her ass! Where is she?"

"She moved back to Carolina, remember she was leaving?"

"What happen to you Nessa?"

"Don't worry about it!"

The minute bell rang and I became furious.

"Well I gotta, see you later?"

"See you"

She walked out and I  shook my head. I can't believe my so called bestfriend did all of this shit to me. I lifted up my hoodie and stood infront of the mirror, my belly was pudgy, my menstrual didn't come either. I know I'm pregnant, I've been having all the symptoms.

This is going to break my moms heart, I wanna blame Kada and say its all her fault but I know it's mine too, I should've never went with her in the first place.

I'm about to have a baby and I don't even know who the father is! I leaned on the wall and busted out crying.

Why is this happening to, it's probably a chance that the guy I drove in the car with is the father, he's the only one who didn't have on condom, but when you get gang raped you'll never know, why is this happening!

As a young teenager I was very talented, I could play the piano and violin, I could sing and write poetry, I was student of the month in drama class, I had dreams.

But after getting raped and getting my maidenhood taken away from me and being betrayed by a person I called a friend, my whole demeanor changed. I wasn't the same goofy little girl, I started hating the world and I especially hated Kada! I turned down every dream.

I didn't have friends because it was hard to trust, I didn't even want a boyfriend after what happen to me. I really wasn't the same girl anymore, I felt as if nobody cared for me, so since nobody cared I stop caring too and that's when I start letting boys take advantage of me, once I had my daughter people was convinced I was a hoe and I was too.

But rape and betrayal led me to it....

Rape
Rape
Why they do that to me?
Why she leave me?
No one cares about Janessa!!
Betrayal

Let it go, Let it go,
Betcha love can make it better
Let it go...

   Let that shit go? Never..

(***)

I sat in class and listened to my teacher, I go to Spelman, Oh I left that out, even though a bitch got pregnant in the 10th grade I still graduated, I'm in my senior year.

"Ms.Jones, can you tell me who said this quote? 'Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall' "

"Mr. William Shakespeare" I answered with a smiled.

"Correct, I see you've been reading his books after all"

"Of course, I love his books" I said in sophisticated tone.

"Alright class, well that's it for today"

I stood up and gathered up all my stuff, then I made my way out to the crowded hallway. Suddenly my books fell to the ground as I someone bumped into me.

"I am so sorry let me help!"

"Your okay" I started picking up my stuff, we both rised up slowly and looked at each other.

"Her-- Here's your books" he said putting them gently in my hands.

He was very tall and preppy. He wore a nice suit, and had on a shiny rolex. The man was fine, he had broad shoulders, he was brown skin with waves, and he had a nice smile.

"Hi I'm Andrew, well Profressor Andrew Ericson" he held his hand out for a shake.

Professor? He's probably older than me.

I snapped out of my gaze and shook his hand.

"Sorry, I'm Janessa"

"Janessa? Wow that's a pretty name but very different, how did you get it?"

"Well that's a long story" I giggled "Are you a new professor here, I never met you before?"

"Yes I am actually, just started a few weeks ago. I teach buisness and I'm a professional football coach down at GSU" he grinned.

"Wow that's nice" I gave him a bright smile

"Well Professor Ericson, nice to meet you, I'll  see you around"

"Nice meeting you too Janessa"

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